They’re always the ideal, picturesque, most perfect women we ever see; the supportive girlfriend. So many films and television shows have this woman in them. I honestly can’t think of a single example other than Sloane from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. I know there are more out there though. They’re the girls who are there when their men need them. They’re the girls who are a man’s rock and remind them to never give up or else they’ll end up like their imprisoned father. Supportive girlfriends are great and we can all agree. Something we may not agree on is sometimes supportive girlfriends can go too far.

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(Is there a more perfect girl in the world? All a guy wants is for a girl to cut class with him. Everything else is extra)

I only have the male perspective on any gender issues because I was only a woman for one year of my life. It was a crazy year and involved a lot of undercover police work. It’s better I not get into it. I believe though that men are either 100% supportive of their women or 100% out there to belittle and convince them to give up on their dreams. Men really are extreme creatures. We either want to be the best or not bother trying. Second place is the first loser. Even knowing how barbarically dumb this logic is, I go by it often too. But I’m not supposed to talk about how lazy so many men are and why they all get so fat when a little effort could really improve their chances of not dying young or alone. I’m supposed to talk about girlfriends supporting their men.

I’ve found in any relationship whether dating or simply friendship that it’s important to me for whomever I keep around to be supportive. Unfortunately that’s not always the case. We don’t get to pick everyone we encounter on a daily basis. If we did I’d make my mailman Malin Akerman. I’d still probably hide from her whenever she dropped off my Super Coups. I always hide from the mailman. Anything to avoid socializing. Supporting those I care about has become the single most important thing in my life. It’s something I felt I never really got much. And there’s a big difference between someone saying “Go ahead, do whatever you want” and “Go ahead, ask me if you need anything.”

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(If Malin Akerman became my mailman I would never sent an email ever again and this blog would no longer be online. I would mail everything out to you guys and you’d have to return your comments to me. I’d make sure I had to sign for every package just to be around her a little longer. I’ve thought this out too long)

The supportive girlfriend is important for a man because let’s face it, girlfriends are nags. They’re always saying things like “I’m hungry” or “Don’t hit me.” When a girlfriend isn’t supportive she becomes an annoying wife except you have no legal attachment. The only reason you don’t leave this terrible girlfriend is because you’ve already spent so much money on her and you’d hate for it to be for nothing. Plus, she has blackmail photos of you from that year you were a woman. You don’t want those getting out if you want a future in anything other than winning a Ru Paul sponsored contest.

I think a supportive girlfriend crosses the line when she allows her boyfriend to be an idiotic waste of space. Let me explain. Love is conditional. If you love someone you should support them no matter what they do. You should also love someone if they tell you you’re not as good at something as you think you are. You can hate them for telling you that and you probably should, but more often than not they’re telling you to protect you. Notice how this made-up girlfriend said this made-up boyfriend is not as good as he thinks he is. She didn’t tell him to give up. She told him he needs to get better. He needs to put forth a larger effort.

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(This stock photo says it all. Don’t humor a guy and tell him it’s great he has a high score. Tell him to use his hand eye coordination for something better like having a job)

Supporting someone has one key element that goes overlooked, honesty. Often times we don’t tell people we support or care about how crummy their idea was because we don’t want to hurt them. Here’s my proposition, tell those people their ideas suck, but add in how you think it could be improved. Say for instance you spot an ugly girl walking down the street Running up to her and saying how ugly she is can come off as extremely mean. Running up to her and telling her to lose weight, get contact lenses, get a new hairstyle, change her fashion sense, and clean the rat feces off her eyelids is much more constructive. You’re also supporting this random bitch by helping her improve. Okay this was a bad example, but you’re smart enough to get the point.

How can you be a supportive girlfriend? Don’t be a girlfriend, be a partner. The best way to ever support someone is to get involved. As much as guys pretend we like cheerleaders we really don’t. They’re annoying. Pep is fine in small doses but Christ, tone it down. The team isn’t even good. Don’t be one of those lame girlfriends who sit back and lets her guy just do whatever he wants and watch on from afar. Men are weak. Ladies, we need you to not only be our biggest fans; we need you to help us achieve the greatness you think we have.

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(I’ve got a good feeling about this couple)

Of course if you’re dating a complete loser then you wasted your time reading this. As far as blog “pieces” go where my motivation was passive aggressive comments toward people I’ve never even met, this one was pretty long.

Comments
  1. I have heard of supportive girlfriends… I have also heard of dragons and unicorns and Hobbits. If you want something to give you support, get yourself a Playtex cross your heart bra.

  2. Playtex used to make a bra called the living bra… but nobody knew what to feed them… sort of like those pet rocks…

  3. Pete Howorth says:

    As long as they stay at home until they’re needed and don’t ask me where I’m going, I’m happy.

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