To be flawed is to be human. That sounds like something an ancient Chinese person would say. So true and so brilliant. What I really want to know though is at what point did Chinese people stop speaking English? Confucius has all these wonderful sayings and none are in Chinese, at least none of the popular ones. Maybe it’s because typing something in Chinese would require a special keyboard. Every time I go to a website for a language translation my computer nearly gets a virus. What does this say about America? It says we don’t want our own people learning new languages or I need to stop watching German porn online to learn a new language. Maybe that’s my flaw. Maybe I need to finally buck up and buy Rosetta Stone rather than watch a woman get defecated on to learn the most romantic language in the world, German.
(Brag all you want about being big in Germany Hasselhoff. Never forget though that their toilets are the girl next door)
Rather than point out my flaws then have you all lie and say things like “You’re not that stop. You’ve never eaten anything and died so you must have some common sense” or “I’ve seen much smaller ones. Sure, it was an infant and he had a birth defect but I assure you I felt something.” Today I have decided to pass along the knowledge I have gained in life from my flaws. Hopefully after reading this you too can implement these ideologies into your life and stop being such a fuck-up.
The thing about flaws is we all have them and they come in handfuls. I make mistakes all the time and I’m not very good at much. My biggest talent is falling out of a bad situation by accident. I’ve let my flaws get me down over the years and the scary thing is when you do this you might become obsessed with these flaws. People will think they’re not attractive enough to be loved and because of this they take fewer risks when it comes to romance or dating. But really, after the age of around 16 does anyone ever really tell you to your face how much you suck and how ugly you are? Sure people might think it but not everyone will. It goes beyond looks too. If you let a flaw absorb itself into your skin it may be harder to get out.
(Don’t let your flaws turn into these green arrows or whatever this picture says!)
I’ve known other people to go through what I have and sadly they never listened to my advice as people tend to rarely do. This particular person I want to mention had a problem. They told me about this problem after a big hinting phase where I had assumed they were at one point raped or voted for both George Bushs. Or is it Bushes? I’m not sure. As it turned out, their problem wasn’t something that bugged me at all. What did bug me was how once I knew they had this problem it was brought up non-stop. Everything that was wrong in their life was because of this one problem that albeit was a problem, but not something so out of control it should be as evil to them as they let it be.
I told this person I had similar issues and not to worry. I would never judge. I was continuously told I didn’t understand and after a while I gave up on trying to help. This person let what could have been a miniscule issue devour them. We’re all smart enough to know nobody is perfect. It’s a shame we let ourselves be defined by a particular flaw.
What I have come to realize is that nobody likes me for anything other than me. Sure, some people may like a quality about me, but it doesn’t matter unless they like me for who I am completely as a whole which is pretty darn good if I do say so myself. It’s true about everyone though. I may think someone is funny but if they’re a lousy person and not fun to be around I won’t put up with it. Same as with a person’s flaws, I won’t not associate with someone just because they have something wrong with them. I think we’re all that way, at least I hope so.
(Amy Schumer is the exception to this rule. I don’t care how funny I’m told she is. There’s just something about her face that really bugs me)
The best way I find to get over your flaws, hell to get over anything, is to make it known. Let people know you think you’re fat. Let people know you’re unusually tall and have red hair. If you have a learning disability, be open about it. Trying to hide a problem will cause you undue stress. Are people going to really laugh at you because you have something wrong with you? Remember, as much as you’re worrying about your own issues, everybody else is worrying about their own.