Posted: May 3, 2011 in May 2011

I don’t know how to behave most of the time. If I’m standing near a group of people my go to move is to put my hands in my pockets. Today I was near a group of people and the guy next to me had his hands in his pockets. I sneered at him for stealing my move. I was left juggling imaginary objects to keep my hands busy and to keep the eyes off of me on how awkwardly I stood.

How should a person behave at a concert? I don’t really have an answer to this. I sat at the only ones I’ve been to. Sitting is fine to do at a concert, but it makes it feel like a movie. Standing is the opposite of sitting. Or maybe lying down is the opposite of standing. But nobody lies down at concerts. Unless they’ve died. So for sake of argument, standing and sitting are opposites. I would stand at a concert if I could realy get into it. I just don’t see that happening. It’s hard for me to cheer and sway my arms back and forth and do other concert things around strangers. It’s times like those that I envy people without arms. All other times I push them down and watch them turtle shell around on the ground kicking their strong legs. Armless people have very strong legs.

Mosh pits scare me. I used to think that they were small muddy holes that cars get stuck in. You probably wouldn’t have to try hard to get your car stuck in a mosh pit though. Pedestrians can be real assholes about getting out of the way of a moving vehicle. They’re stuck up behave they have strong armless people legs from all of the walking they do.

When you go to a concert you’re not allowed to wear a shirt of the band you’re seeing. This is because people like to go to Slipknot concerts and see a guy in a Mandy Moore sleeveless t-shirt and think “Hey, I like that music too!” Maybe it is a redundant thing to wear the same shirt to a concert. Concert goers hate redundancy. You know, like hearing the same songs they’ve heard a million times.

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