Book Stores

Posted: May 5, 2011 in May 2011

It is sometimes said that books are dead. I say that this is untrue. Books were never alive. Unless you consider the fact that they’re made of paper and paper comes from trees and trees are living. I don’t consider trees living beings though. If it doesn’t pay taxes than it isn’t a real human being. I’m talking to you trees and the illegal immigrants who cut them down!

It’s been a while since I’ve been inside of a book store. The last time I can think of I kept trying to make eye contact with a cute girl who worked there. I finally mustered up the courage to ask her to help me find a book. I was stupid in asking her this in the New Age section. She assumed that was the type of book I was looking for. Short story even shorter, she took an early lunch break to get away from me.

I have $50 worth of Barnes & Noble gift cards. For a classy book store, that place is always a mess. I always have to ask for help, which as a man, is embarrassing. Men should never ask for help. Especially not from a woman. I’ll ask a woman for help sometimes. Usually only when it involves baking, ironing, or giving birth. They’re good at those things.

Whenever I find out that someone is an avid reading it usually does make me like them better. It means that they most likely don’t watch VH1. That channel is a last resort channel. You either read books or you watch VH1. Hell, you rather can read or you watch VH1. Is the “h” lowercase or capitalized? I’m not sure. The people that watch aren’t either. Girls who read are hot. The thought of a girl sitting panty-less on a bean bag chair in public staring at ink on paper has so much more appeal than her in a backyard sipping beer from a red cup.

Smart girls are much sexier than dumb girls. My dad used to always say that. Or maybe it was Jesus. I get those two confused because they both had long hair in their teen years.

Never mind, it was neither.

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