Posted: May 19, 2011 in May 2011

Wrestling gets a bad reputation. There are a lot of reasons why. Most of the most famous ones are drug users, it’s fake, kids watch it and get hurt imitating it, it’s fake, and people say it’s like a soap opera on steroids. Oh, also because it’s fake.

I actually like wrestling. I’m not as into it as I was a few years back, but I still follow along. Maybe because of this my opinion is bias, but if I could be any type of champion it would be a WWE Champion. Not the heavyweight title though, that would make me feel fat.

Being WWE Champion is better than any other single championship. Nobody watches boxing anymore. I watched a boxing match a few weeks ago and the boxers weren’t even watching. They keep gazing around looking for the crowd until the darker man punched the lighter man really hard. Anyone who says they’re a boxing fan and is from after the year 1992 is lying. Boxing died with disco. It’s also slightly less gay.

UFC is the new thing that everybody and their redneck mother is into these days. I watched one UFC fight ever. I remember that guy Chuck Liddell that everybody used to like lost. He was an old man at that point. It was sad to see. Even sadder was that he had a goatee. People in their 30s or 40s should not have goatees. Goatees are for the young. And goats. It was about time Liddell was put out to pasture. It’s time he grows a mustache and puts on a powdered wig.

There aren’t too many other real champions in sports that aren’t team related. I guess you can be a tennis champion. I wouldn’t want that though. I prefer sex with women, slightly.

The best thing about being WWE Champion would be the belt. That massive piece of steel (if it’s anything like their other steel products, it’s really made of construction paper) that you can where around your waist or hoist of your shoulder is beautiful. It’s options! With a UFC belt you have to use it as a belt. And you can’t use it as a weapon either. You have to use skills and practice. Bologna I say! To become WWE Champion all you have to do is be big and kiss the right asses. It’s fixed. It takes a lot less skill. You just have to be marketable. It’s the ultimate respect. You are only the top dog because we like you and who you are. Nobody likes a boxer for who they are. They cheat, spit, and cheat at spitting games. Then they spit on you. To be a WWE Champion you need respect of your bosses. That’s what I want. A big giant belt and respect.

When I think about it, I’ll just go with the belt. Mine is wearing down a bit.

miami carlins


  1. The Hobbler says:

    I like UFC better than WWE, but I don’t think it’s a stalking deal breaker.

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