Millionaire Dog Killers

Posted: August 31, 2011 in August 2011
Tags: , ,

Michael Vick the dog killer is now making 16.7 million dollars a year for the next 6 years equaling out to around $100 million. That’s about 16.6837593198503 more than I make a year. I have never killed a dog.

Everyone that I have ever loved will not combined make that much money. I have never loved someone who has killed a dog.

I’ve wanted to kill dogs. They’re annoying. They yip. They yap, but I show restraint. I know that killing dogs is a bad thing. I’m younger than Michael Vick and I know that killings dogs is wrong. He went to college and still didn’t learn that killing dogs was a bad thing. Isn’t college supposed to make you smart? Guess not. People who graduate from college are dog murderers, like Michael Vick.

RANDOM INCONSEQUENTIAL FACT: Michael Vick has played for the Falcons and the Eagles. He has never killed a bird. He only kills dogs.

People say that Michael Vick has served his time and deserves a second chance. I agree. Osama Bin Laden has been killed. Lets reanimate him to give him a second chance. The Raiders need a punter. Bin Laden’s got big feet.

Here’s a suggestion. Michael Vick can play football but he can’t get paid to do it. We take that $100 million dollars and give it out to 100 people and divide it evenly. These 100 people are told to start a business. With their now $1 million dollars, they start their dream businesses and hire the unemployed. This creates jobs. If the jobs say are low paying, around $20,000 a year, and half of that million goes into investing in products and the salary of the owner, 25 new people can have jobs at each of these. Multiple that by 10 and you have created 250 new jobs. And that’s all if the business goes nowhere. If the business goes somewhere, more people will be hired, franchises could be made, and even more money can be made. It’s a simple idea that makes logical sense but won’t happen because we reward dog killers like Michael Vick.

When people have to struggle to feed their families while men who strangle dogs as a hobby can continue to make assloads of money, I throw up a little bit. If you don’t, you’re a dog killer too. Professional athletes are overpaid as it is. Now, dog killers are overpaid too.

I don’t believe Michael Vick has redeemed himself. I don’t believe that he should be seen as a hero. He’s a guy who allowed dogs to fight and then get killed. The phrase “second chance” was created for every situation but this. Second chances are given to guys who blow it on the first date. To kids who forgot to study for an exam. There are no second chances in football so why give dog killers like Michael Vick one at living the dream?


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