I like to tell myself that I don’t have a big forehead. Instead I tell myself that I’m just losing my hair. I used to have such thick hair. Barbers would complain to me about it. Now it’s starting to thin. I’d rather not be bald when I’m older. Especially not horseshoe bald because I’d be afraid whenever tailgating that someone may grab me by the head and toss me toward a peg by accident. It’s a big worry of mine. I don’t want my head looking like a Lucky Charms marshmallow.
One person told me that I had a big forehead. His dead died in jail so I guess his opinion has little merit. I don’t like having too short of hair in the front. I let my bangs grow out a bit to hang over my temples. My reasoning for this is that when I get overheated or angry (and being overheated makes me angry) that the veins pop out. Veins are an interesting thing. It can either mean that you’re muscular and have low body fat or it can mean you’re an old creep. I rarely if ever workout my skull as the line at the gym for that machine is too long whenever I go.
Men can get away more with having large foreheads. Sometimes it even looks nice. I’ve had a widows peak in the front of my head for years now which was the first sign of how I would bald when I got older. My hair hasn’t started falling out yet which is good. The scary thing is whenever I get a haircut that sometimes it doesn’t grow back in the same places. I need hair to cover my forehead.
Foreheads go overlooked and they’re the one part of a body that can make or break a person. Whenever I meet someone with a big forehead I immediately have a set standard that they must be smart. When they’re not and slobber on me, my expectations dwindle. You don’t have a large brain, just a concave mass with eyes poking out of it. I was going to continue with something about unibrows here, but they get enough grief when going into restaurants and being told to remove the caterpillar above their eyes.
My favorite thing about foreheads is that they are a good place to punch another person in. They’re giant flat targets that look even better with knuckle marks on them. Whenever I am in a fight I always go for the forehead first. That’s what any professional fighter will tell you. Take out the forehead, take out the monster it belongs to. You’ll know you hit them hard enough when a fortune teller can read your palm looking at their face.