Jock Insults

Posted: September 19, 2011 in September 2011
Tags: , , , , , ,


I wish I was a jock. Prison movies have taught me one thing. If you want to get respect from the people you want to become, you have to find the biggest guy there and take him on. That’s why in my journey to become the ultimate jock I have decided to come up with insulting nicknames for some professional jocks, old and current. These nerds will be quivering in their mansions once they see what I have to call them.


Alex Rodriguez – Alex Clodriguez

John Elway – John Smellway

Peyton Manning – Peyton Womanning

Prince Fielder – Princess Fielder

Lou Gehrig – Lou Gay-Rag

Tom Brady – Tom Lady

Tony Romo – Tony Homo

Gregg Maddox – Gregg Buttox

Kurt Warner – Kurt Weiner

Chase Utley – Lace Buttley

Jose Reyes – Jose Gayes

Gordie Howe – Nerdie Howe

Wayne Gretzky – Plain Gretzky

Larry Bird – Mary Terd

Magic Johnson – Magic Johnson

Mike Schmidt – Mike Shit

Ryne Sandberg – Ryne Blandberg

Tug McGraw – Tug McCock

Warren Sapp – Boring Sapp

Michael Strahan – Michael Strayham

Kevin Youkilis – Kevin Guys-You-Kiss

Manny Ramirez – Fanny Ramirez

Moises Alou – Moises A-Poo

Joe Montana – Joe “Hannah” Montana

Bart Starr – Fart Starr

Johnny Unitas – Johnny United-Ass

Steve Yzerman – Steve Eyes-On-Men

Chris Carter – Chris Farter

Mitch Williams – Bitch Williams

Hank Aaron – Spank Aaron

Randy Moss – Mandy Sauce

Sam Bradford – Sam Nadterd

Tim Thomas – Tim Mom-Ass

Peter Forsberg – Peter Terdsberg

Joe Sakic – Joe Sacklick

Sammy Sosa – Sammy So-So

Robin Yount – Robin Cunt

Don Mattingly – Don Fattingly

Clayton Kershaw – Masterbayton Kershaw

Joe Flaco – Joe Faggo

Allen Iverson – Allen Cryverson

Vance Worley – Pants Girly

Pat Burrell – Fat Girl

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