Freebies

Posted: October 3, 2011 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , ,

“The best things in life are free.” – Some Jackass, probably from the 1960s

Food, water, shelter. Those are the three things everyone needs to survive. Food, costs money. Water, can for some be tough to get. Shelter, costs a lot of money if you don’t want scabies. Yep, the best things in life are free, only you have to pay for life.

There should be a type of food that is completely free. I’m not talking about government cheese or maybe I am. There should be some awful tasting yet nutritious food that everybody is entitled to enough to survive if they so wish to choose. Make it taste like shit if you have to. As long as people have it.

Shelter is more difficult to make free, it sort of already is and I guess food is free too if you live in a homeless shelter. Homeless shelters are not one of the best things in life. Having to live in one ranks #8793 of things in life. It’s right after “owning multiple clocks” and “having only benign tumors.”

I guess that shitty phrase is supposed to mean that love is free. Love is the most expensive thing in existence. It’s hard for someone to love someone without money, any money at least. It costs money to make yourself look good. It costs money to make a lady feel special. It costs money to know about pop culture and have something interesting to talk about. When a person can’t afford all of that they go to a prostitute who pretends to love them for a predetermined amount of time. Love isn’t free, it’s expensive, but it can be cheap if you know the right places to go.

Maybe at one time the best things in life were free. We’re human though and we know that if there is a demand, there is a price for that demand.

Comments
  1. The free food would have to be like that slop stuff they eat at mealtimes in the first Matrix film. Not sure how they moved from that frugal existence to having full on raves and orgies in the next film though.

    • mooselicker says:

      To be fair, don’t most orgies and raves start out of nowhere? Every time I’ve tried planning them I usually catch a cold or am arrested. They have to happen organically, like the growth of carrots.

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