Photographers

Posted: October 17, 2011 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , ,

I don’t appreciate good photography. I’m sorry, but I can’t. I’ve known really dumb people who can take amazing photographs. It makes me think that if I had a fancy camera that I could do it too.

Photography really is a pretty low form of art. Painters have to have a steady hand. They need to know colors. They need to know motion. Photographers need to point and click a small device. If they fuck up, they can always go back and edit it. And lets face it, most photographers spent a lot of their time cropping photos and then upping the “hue” to the image. I don’t know what hue is. All I know is that it makes me look less human.

I do appreciate cool photographs though. I don’t think that the photographers should get the credit for most of the photos that I like. It’s the moment in time that I should pay homage to. The photographer was just in the right place at the right time with an expensive piece of equipment that does all of the work.

Yeah I know, if you’re a photographer I’m sure you have a billion reasons why you’re an artist. I still don’t think that you are. The highest level you can ever get to is becoming a member of the paparazzi or having your images on a calendar. I haven’t seen a good calendar with real life photos in years. They’re always drawn or painted. And when I do see awesome photos on calendars, they’re shots of bears playing or alligators eating a deer. They’re awesome shots of animals. The only animal you’ve ever taken a picture of was a squirrel in your backyard. Squirrels blow. Unless the animal in the picture can, and will kill me, I don’t want to see it.

So if you’re a photographer and you come across this, I’m sure there will be one person at some point in the history of time, continue to do what you do. But don’t be a hack ass about it. Don’t take black and white photos of yourself. I don’t need to see what you’d look like on an episode of The Munsters. Nothing lies more than a photograph. Photographers are enablers of lies. I’ve seen some gorgeous images of people then came to realize that they’re awful looking. It doesn’t matter if you’re awful looking. What matters is that you tried to pretend that you weren’t. An image that has been altered in any way is a warning sign that you have low self-esteem and are probably chubby and/or pimply. Photographers wish so badly that they could change life. That they can capture a millisecond in time and make it last forever. It’ll never happen. But hey, keep wasting your time. More success for me.

Comments
  1. Yeah, people who change their photos using Photoshop or whatever are cheating. Once you start doing that it isn’t really a photo any more and starts to be become a drawing.

  2. Look at this photograph…Every time I do it makes me laugh

  3. Small note: photographers manipulate images.
    Painters do the same.
    So that is not much of a point.
    But I like your way of writing though!

    • mooselicker says:

      Thank you 🙂

      I don’t always come out with the answer I wanted in the end. These are just my attempts at finding them. Most of my photography hate comes from 1 or 2 people. So I don’t get sued, I lump everyone in that category together. Lets see every hipster try and sue me.

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