No. This isn’t about gay couples or detectives who work together. Well, it can be. It’s more about business partners. I suppose you can be a gay couple and still be business partners. Maybe own a cookie shop that sells Snicker Doodles or a dildo manufacturing plant that manufactures, dildos. And being a detective is sort of business. And you can be a gay detective. That would be a great sitcom. Two gay detectives solving crimes. They wouldn’t have to be all gay crimes either. Like who stole all of the rainbows from the city. They could solve real crimes like finding the ass-less chaps murderer of Southern San Francisco.

I’m not that easy of a person to work with. Either it’s my way or the highway. Maybe not the highway. It’s more of it’s either my way or I’ll let you do it your way and not contribute very much to the finished product. I’m open for compromise, but not willing to compromise my own ideas. One thing I have noticed about famous partners though is that one is usually a little bit chubby and the other is usually pretty thin. The best part about it, the chubby one is better.

1) Take for instance the creators of South Park, Trey Parker & Matt Stone. Trey Parker seems to get more credit for most of what is done. He starred in the first movie they made and always does more voices than Matt Stone. I don’t know how the work really gets done, but from what I’ve seen, Parker is the main idea guy behind it all. He’s first billed and the one who got to make out with Yasmine Bleeth in Baseketball. More importantly, Trey Parker at times has looked a little overweight. Maybe not, but Matt Stone is really skinny. They are a perfect example of a partnership where the chubbier one is more successful and the thinner one gets the scraps.

(Matt on the left, Trey on the right. Notice how his coat can’t even button)

2) Moving across the pond (I hate when people say that, ponds are small, the Atlantic Ocean is not) I make a stop at famous comedian, writer, and actor who has been seen on television and in film Ricky Gervais. He’s super famous. A huge draw wherever he goes. Then there’s his probably equally as talented partner, Stephan Merchant. A guy whose name you may not have ever heard of if you’re a casual fan. Merchant is the writing partner of Gervais yet he never gets the accolades that Gervais does. Why? Because he’s really skinny and Gervais is rather plump. I know, it’s probably really because Gervais is in films and Merchant does not act. I still find it odd that here is another example of a great comedy duo where the fat guy can go out to a bar, pick up a woman because of his recognizable face, and the skinny guy gets stuck with the girl with the liver spot.

(Again Ricky can’t close his coat and Merchant has no problem wearing a shirt that shows off his flat body. A constant theme in comedy)

3) One of the more popular shows on television is It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. It was created by the characters on the show Mac & Charlie. I’ll stick with their character names because that’s easier and you’re probably stupid and thought it was a reality series anyway due to the shaky cameras. I know now in this present series, Mac is fat. Like really fat. He did it on purpose which shows you how much money he has made. But going back a few years, Mac was the buff in shape guy while Charlie was the skinny fat guy who never took off his shirt. I think it took until around Season 3 until Charlie took off his shirt. That meant 2 years of him dieting and exercising to get a television chest. It’s good for him and he probably did it to try to break the stereotype. Charlie was never by any stretch fat, but I can easily say that he has for a long time been everyone’s favorite character. I think it’s because he gets shit on the most and fans of the show get shit on in real life by their friends. We relate to him. You may say that this one doesn’t count, but I have one more to try to fill out my conspiracy.

(Mac comfortable enough to wear a muscle shirt, Charlie having to cover everything up to his wrists)

4) Did you know that Kevin Smith has a partner that he works on every or at least most of his films with? His name’s Scott Mosier. Smith has described him as having a “runner’s body” or maybe that was me after seeing a picture of him. I’m not really sure at this point and afraid to find out the correct answer. I would describe Smith as having a “body of water body.” Kevin Smith is fat. That’s not a surprise to anyone. His friend, co-writer, and producer Scott Mosier is not fat and that’s where my conspiracy comes back into light. Kevin Smith is one of the most famous independent filmmakers of all-time outside of that annoying black girl that I know who made a poster for Stomp The Yard 2. He acts in his films, writes them, directs them, he’s a jack of all trades. What does Mosier do? Pretty much the same thing except for the acting part of it. Yet we don’t know his name. I could go into a mall and ask everyone if they know who Scott Mosier is. I’ll be lucky if one of them doesn’t guess that it’s some kid they go to school with. He hasn’t made his face known and that’s probably why he isn’t famous. I mean, it all makes sense. But why doesn’t he let himself be known? Is Kevin Smith really that much better?

(The fat guy has the water and the thin one a beer. I think the government is lying to us about something)

It’s strange to think that I could find enough examples to prove my theory. I mean, that’s pretty damn good. I’ve achieved proving my theory with A LITTLE LESS DOCUMENTATION!!! than he did. Newton only had three laws of physics and I’ve found four examples of fat/skinny partners where the fat one is the more successful and liked one. I’m better than Isaac Newton if you look at it like that. Do you know what else makes me better than Newton? No apple scars on my forehead.

Going all the way back to Abbot & Costello and up through David Spade & Chris Farley and then with George Bush & Dick Cheney, having one fat guy and one skinny one is usually the formula for funny.

One day, maybe I can add myself to this list. I’ll be a popular Hollywood actor who does just as much work as his thin partner, but gets all of the credit. There’s no rhyme or reason for these coincidences. Maybe that’s why I call them coincidences because that’s exactly all they are. Coinciding Denses–or something that breaks down the word coincidences into its two-word meaning.

  1. E. He says:

    There are a lot of famous fat comedians in China too!

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