There’s a phrase that goes “turning a blind eye.” I’ve used this phrase once. It was making fun of the “Cataract” Cathy in middle school. She would walk into walls and fall down elevator shafts on a daily basis. I’d call her name and she’d turn to me, thus turning a blind eye.

But that’s not what the phrase is really meant for. It should really be about how we ignore the obvious and let things happen. Even when they’re obvious. Or something like that. Here are some things that happened in history that I think should have been much more obvious. Yet we were all surprised.

-Ellen Degeneres coming out of the closet was huge on her television show whose name escapes me. She wore men’s suits in the 1980s. That’s like a hockey jersey to lesbians. How were we shocked by this? Did we have our heads so far up our heterosexual partner’s ass that we missed out?

-Sticking on a similar subject, writer of Fight Club Chuck Palahniukukuka9hjhfs^ahf (get an easier name to spell) being a homosexual. Fight Club is the gayest movie I have ever seen and I’ve seen the extended version of Caligula where men actually performance oral sex on each other in togas. I was shocked when I found out that Chuckie was gay. I mean, one of the rules of Fight Club is that you can’t wear a shirt. That’s the worst thing about playing a sport. Having to divide into shirts versus skins.

-Adolf Hitler became a terrible dictator much to the world’s surprise. I mean, I guess they knew he was bad. But really, he came into power in like 1933. He didn’t kill himself until 1945. That’s 12 years. It took us that long to realize he was rounding up all the Jews and slaughtering them. Maybe he got away with it because all of the lawyers in town were stuck at Auschwitz. Is that racist? I think it’s more a backhanded compliment that Jewish people are well learned.

-Great as an idea, Communism is something that doesn’t translate into a reality. People are greedy. We found that out with Russian. Then we found that out with Vietnam, North Korea, and all of eastern Europe. I think Marx forgot to add in the chapter about how someone with power would never step down from it to become a commoner. Had he never had to share something in his life?

-Mormons are weird. I mean really weird. Like they make Scientologists seem sane. They believe in polygamy which I guess sounds good on the outside, but I couldn’t imagine having to deal with that many women. Founder of the Book of Mormon, Joseph Smith, was about 18 years old when he was visited by an angel and told about this whole misadventure. An 18 year old boy was the one who decided that men should be allowed to marry more than one woman! When was the last time an 18-year-old boy had a good idea? I know Justin Bieber has a huge following, but I don’t think any of us are about to start getting advice from him about the afterlife.

-I was about 3 years old when it happened. Actor Paul Reubens who portrayed Pee Wee Herman as caught masturbating in public. Pee Wee Herman has genitalia. None of us realized that. With genitalia, comes huge responsibilities. That genitalia needs to be used. I don’t know why it was shocking that a creepy man who owns a talking chair might want to masturbate in public. It’s not like Pee Wee was religious or anything. Everyone needs to dump a load. Especially when the hottest chick in town is your lesbian mailman.

Open your eyes! The obvious is all around us.

  1. kickingsport says:

    Ouch! Didn’t see that one coming.

    • mooselicker says:

      I should have yelled “heads up!” for you. I know that’s the big kicking sport term when a ball is about to hit you in the head. Bullies never yelled it for me 😦

  2. I always shout heads 😛

  3. Lafemmeroar says:

    Wow! This post has so much truth and controversy. This is the type of article that needs to be FP. I’m always in awe at how you love to ruffle feathers.

  4. Your a crazy guy 😛 lol

  5. renxkyoko says:

    People turned a blind eye when Hitler started killing off the Jews……they didn’t care because they were Jews….. one of the saddest events in human history.

    I guess people were shocked not because she was gay ( we already knew that ) but by what she did on one show… she locked lips with another girl. I saw that episode… it was okay. I have no problem with that.

    Cheers !

    • Hitler had a show and was gay? When did this happen?

      • kickingsport says:

        Around the same time the French invented the concept of surrender.

      • mooselicker says:

        I love the UK’s hate for France. It’s like how the Chinese hate the Japanese and the rest of the world has trouble telling the difference between the two of you.

        I know the French have thicker mustaches and bad breath. At least the women.

      • mooselicker says:

        Hahaha it was the 1980s, one of Bravo’s first programs. It was sandwiched between Stalin’s cooking show and another program where Pol Pot was an angry fashion judge.

    • mooselicker says:

      Ahhh! I always thought the scene where she says “I’m gay” in front of the microphone was the big shocker. That’s the one that I always see clips of. I was so young (I guess we both were) when that happened and didn’t really understand how significant that all was. I thought gay was just something times that the Flinstones had.

      • renxkyoko says:

        I think I saw that on an autobiography about gays on TV. There was a clip of Ellen Degeneres kissing a girl ( it was suposedly a sitcom , not a talk show ). That started the controversy, and her show was abruptly cancelled.

      • mooselicker says:

        Yeah, I used to watch the show with my mom, she loved that show haha. I think the problem was once she came out the whole show revolved around the life of a single lesbian when before that it was never really a topic. The show changed completely, but I think the Religious Right got their greedy hands into the mix and didn’t want their children watching it.

  6. Ahhh, we think of ourselves as wise creatures. Look what has happened already during our wisdom.

    • mooselicker says:

      I don’t know how wise humans think they really are. For the most part we’re pretty grounded and know how dumb we can be. At least, we can admit how dumb some members of our species are, eh stupid?

  7. Lily says:

    Hmmm Mormons aren’t Polygamists. I think when they were forced to move west, a lot of people died and families grouped together. Apparently they only practiced polygamy from 1852-1890. Once it was deemed illegal, they stopped. Even in the book of mormon it indicates that man should only have one wife. Its confusing though because there are groups that call themselves “fundamentalist mormons” and they are basically just polygamists. I’m mormon and I get the, “so how many wives does you dad have?” all the time. Grrrreat times!

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