Economic Troubles

Posted: November 21, 2011 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Everything gets blamed on the economy these days. No matter where you are there is no escape. You can’t be like LILY IN CANADA!!! and flee the country. I don’t think the economy really has much of an effect on most people. Sure, if you lose your job or your business, you are effected. But not after a lot of other people lose money. That’s something called a scapegoat. I learned that word today. It comes from ancient times when goats would escape and everyone would blame it on a reason other than the fact that they forgot to close the door. At least, that’s where I think the term comes from.

I will admit that people don’t have as much money as they would like. That is all I will admit. Look at your last bank statement and tell me you really needed to spend your money on most of those things. Were Ja Rule concert tickets really that necessary? Is he even still alive? The economy doesn’t stink. Our ability to find cheap forms of entertainment does.

It now costs around $10 to go to the movies. That is ridiculous, especially with how many bad movies there are out there. A Foot Loose remake? Really? There are human beings with the same DNA frame as myself that thought, “Hey lets remake Foot Loose.” Then there are thousands that will look in their newspaper and say “Hey, they remade Foot Loose. Lets go.” It makes me want to scream. Not dance, scream. Even the theme song should make you want to burn down your local theaters.

Everybody cut loose,

Foot Loose,

Kick off your Sunday shoes.

You cannot rhyme loose with loose and then rhyme it with shoes. Walt Whitman would be turning over in his grave if his body wasn’t shot into space per his request. If you’re going to make a musical, make sure you know how to rhyme first. Start with Dr. Seuss and work your way up. Seuss rhymes with loose! Couldn’t you have used that?

Back to the topic at hand, a less important one than shitty Hollywood remakes. We have no money because things cost more. And not only that, we want things that cost more. Here are some things that most of us own that we didn’t have 10-15 years ago and an estimated price:

Cell phone ($100)

Cell phone bill ($50 a month)

Ipod ($100)

Ipod downloads ($20 a month)

Laptop ($600)

Internet bill ($20 a month)

Electrical bill ($100+ due to all of the new gadgets that we need to plug in)

Cable bill ($100 at least a month)

Video games ($50 each)

Video game system ($200-$300 each)

And those are only a few things that I have come up with that I think a lot of people are spending their money on. Notice how they all involve sitting in a room alone? Concert tickets, sports tickets, train tickets, gas, designer scarves have all gone up as well. By a lot too! It used to cost $20 to take the train up to NYC from my old hometown, 50 miles south of NYC. Now it’s $30. That’s a 50% increase for you math whizzes. This is why people are going into NYC an occupying Wall Street. Because they’re pissed off about having to spend $30 to get there. Plus they had to download a few new songs for their iPod for the trip. It makes me furious too!

Quick question. Why is it that everyone who owns spinners on the tires of their cars can’t afford to live in a nicer neighborhood? They’re the same people who always complain about how the government is out to screw them. They can’t afford to feed their kids, but they can afford to make their tires spin at a red light. That’s called having poor priorities.

I don’t care how anyone spends their money. If you earn it legally (fuck you drug dealers, thieves, and teamsters) then you have earned the right to spend it on whatever you want. Just don’t expect for your salary to rise because there’s some new gadget that works the same as another, but has a new name to it.

I don’t have a solution to this problem other than becoming Amish. You never read things on the Internet about Amish people complaining about the rising cost of living. It’s because they live simple lives with barns and other essentials in their life. It’s a strange way to live, but maybe we can be a little more Amish. It’s hard to feel bad for someone with a Bluetooth, a cappuccino, and a college degree who thinks that blocking traffic at City Hall is going to make a difference. It makes me want to side with the evil Illuminati once and for all because of your pure stupidity. Life isn’t that expensive. Learn to make a sacrifice if you have problems paying for stuff. Ask yourself, do I really need this? You might be a little happier because of it.

“Creed is good.” – Gordon Gecko, Wall Street, Fan of bad music

  1. Lafemmeroar says:

    The only luxury I’ve been affording myself lately is buying yarn (I’m a knitter). I also bake my own bread. These things save me money that I don’t really have. Also, I don’t really need more shoes and purses, but I sure do salivate when I see them.

    Oh but I’m learning to make Amish bread…

    • mooselicker says:

      You make your own bread? I wish you could see how wide-eyed I am. That really impresses me far more than it probably should. I wish I could give you some sort of a life point for your hard work and dedication. Sometimes I get too lazy to even heat up my meat. (get your mind out of that gutter)

      • Lafemmeroar says:

        Oh it’s sooo easy — easier than baking a cake. I have a wonderful recipe for whole wheat flax seed bread that’s almost as light as a baby’s bottom. I also add coconut in it and honey. OMG it’s soooooooooo good. I’m making that recipe as rolls this Thanksgiving and maybe cinnamon rolls as well. There is something intoxicating in kneading bread dough.

        haha heating up meat just takes a “palm” for some guys. What can I say you’ve got my mind in the gutter now ….

      • mooselicker says:

        Mail me some of this amazing bread. Eating it might occupy my hands for a little while.

  2. Lily says:

    Yay for me! You just made me feel like my situation isn’t so bad. When I used to live in Indiana (don’t judge) there we Amish people everywhere. Their life did seem simple, but I saw an Amish family at the Ft. Wayne zoo once, so that made me think that they appreciated the finer things in life as well.

    • mooselicker says:

      Amish people travel a lot apparently. I saw them at the Syracuse bus station both times I had to stop there. They were different families too. The fact that they have rumpsringa really impresses me. They know that their way of life isn’t for everybody. I’d love to be Amish, but I know that they’d kill me because I’d annoy them too much.

      At least I know I wouldn’t be electrocuted to death. That’s one thing to look forward to.

  3. princessvonvoodoo says:

    movie tickets 10$
    popcorn 7$
    soda 5$

    wasting it to see Foot Loose part deux….fucking stupid

  4. Lisa says:

    I like when you go off on little tangents and have sidebars like the bit about Walt Whitman. This is how my brain works as well. Sometimes I can’t even find my way back to the original point I was trying to make. I’m like Hansel and Gretel, I need to put some bread crumbs down to find my way back. Speaking of bread crumbs… I, too, make my own bread like Lafemmeroar. I have a food storage in my basement in case things get really out of hand with the economy and people are starving. I guess I’m a pessimist where the economy is concerned, though I agree with everything you said.

    • mooselicker says:

      You and Lafemmeroar need to have some sort of a baking contest. I can be the judge and the winner gets to see the smile on my face.

      I’m glad to hear you think like me. Lily’s lucky to have you as a mom. Is there anything you can’t do amazingly?

      • Lisa says:

        Thanks for thinking so highly of me but for the record I am probably an average to sub-par sort of person. I appreciate your totally open, self deprecating and neurotic ways. You make me laugh because you say what we’re probably all thinking. *(with the exception of Human Centipedes. That was new and unchartered territory.)

      • mooselicker says:

        Amazing, modest, and still able to give out compliments.

        We can go back and forth forever how great we both are. Point is, we’re the best there is and ever will be.

  5. Hey, your column is no on WR!

  6. sami116 says:

    I just spent a gazillion dollars on new textbooks and the like. I feel guilty for having wasted that money 😦

  7. robpixaday says:

    Splendid post, deftly composed!

    Hey, hang on a second. I thought I read somewhere that WP is going to offer a spinner widget next week? Now what? Do we have to relocate?

    LOL…the economy’s so bad we think it’s good compared to how bad it’ll be soon.

    As in CCR?


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