There are these things that lonely people who are afraid of commitment make. No, I’m not talking about pipe bombs. Although that would be a good alternative answer. I’m talking about marriage pacts. Alliances that say when you both reach a certain age, if neither of you are married or dating someone, you two get married. Yay! If marriage didn’t already have a negative history.

You really have to hate yourself to say to someone else “Hey, I don’t want to date you now or anything, but if by the time I’m 30 I haven’t found someone better than you, let’s get hitched.” You’re allowed to do whatever you want so please, don’t get discouraged. We all make mistakes. I’m curious though, has one of these pacts ever come to fruition?

In some countries they have this thing called arranged marriages. Yeah, you’ve heard of it. It’s not that rare. I don’t know why I’m pretending that you’re dumb. The parents choose who their children will eventually marry. I get why hundreds of years ago that would make sense. You’d want your daughter to marry a prince or a swift care salesman. Something where you’d know she’d land on her feet after you’re gone. In today’s world it makes no sense. With so many choices of cereal you should never not get a chance to choose your spouse. That’s the person that you have to spend 10 years with before divorcing. That should be your choice. Not your stupid parents who have already had a loveless marriage and only stuck together so you’d be fooled into thinking arrange marriages still worked.

No one has ever made a marriage pacts with me. That’s probably because nobody really wants to marry me. I’ve gotten that “You’re the kind of guy I’d marry” before. Then I pause, wait for the “but” and hear a thousand reasons why I’m the right person at the wrong time. That’s so old. And it reminds me of that old music video with the creepy stroller babies and the man faces.

A marriage pact can be good I guess. I have a feeling that in them one person is madly in love with the other. Usually the guy loving the girl. It must be heartbreaking to think for all those years, watching all of her failed relationships, knowing that you could make her happy. But she’s too stubborn to commit to you. She has to wait until she’s old and used up before giving you another shot at a date. The television show Survivor has taught me a lot of things. Pacts, alliances, tribes, none of them matter. Everyone will screw you over if it benefits themselves. That’s why you shouldn’t make a marriage pact. Richard Hatch will screw you over in the end. Maybe push you down the stairs like he did to his son.

And like I said, you’re allowed to do whatever it is you want with your life. If a marriage pact is something that you and someone else want to make then go for it. I’m happy for you. To see someone take a lasting relationship with such little maturity makes me smile.

  1. Very insightful. At our wedding, I greeted our receiving line guests with “I give it 6 months”, which I guess is a bit unusual for the bride. Here we are, 32 years later. We can’t decide whether we are madly in love, or just too lazy and apathetic to have divorced in 10 years like we were supposed to. Enjoyed your post!

    • mooselicker says:

      Thank you and congratulations on making a marriage work. It seems like if you last the first 10 years then after that you have to really hate each other to get divorced.

      • Lisa says:

        Moose, if I can call you that, I think that you’re the right guy for the right woman. You’ll find each other, I have no doubt. Just be thankful that you are not tied to someone who makes your life miserable. Your freedom is priceless. Look around, take notes, do a little self inventory, and when you’re ready it will happen. I would really look forward to your married life blogs. They’ll be awesome.

      • mooselicker says:

        You’re too kind. I too am looking forward to my point of view about marriage. All I really have to go on is my parents’ and that didn’t end very storybook like. Hopefully they didn’t scare their little boy from embarking on that journey.

        I’ve never been in a painfully awful relationship for very too long. Usually when I get sick of the girl I get really nice and sweet which bothers them for some reason. I know I’d have some great gems from my miserable married life if I had one.

  2. I have never actually known anyone to make a serious marriage pact before. Sounds kinda gay.

    Weirdly, according to my blog dashboard someone visited my blog from a comment on this post. And yet this was before I had even read it let alone comment on it…

    • mooselicker says:

      They probably clicked on this then clicked onto the blogroll. That’s pretty flattering. Your name alone attracted a stranger. You need to start using that on women. “I’m Michael Cargill.” They might do whatever the sexual equivalent of clicking on a link is to you.

  3. Lily says:

    I think what we have learned from Survivor is that Richard Hatch will lie, cheat, and then walk around naked to REALLY make sure he scarred you for life. There was a movie I watched that was a true story of an Indian woman from London and her parents arranged a marriage for her and she eventually set her husband on fire because he abused her so much. Arranged marriages = good times.

    • mooselicker says:

      Good times? That sounds horrible! You women really will stick together on any issue won’t you? I think the marriage probably didn’t work because she was so used to the life in London where people get to choose their partners. It only works if they don’t know any better.

  4. Emily He says:

    Power to that Indian lady in London (not that I’m condoning burning anyone to death)! Bride-burning was an Indian tradition (still is in some places) so maybe she did what she knew best to save herself. Like you said, moose, it only works if they don’t know any better. Thankfully, she knew better and lit a match.

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