Creative Types

Posted: April 20, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

The most creative person I have ever met is myself. Really, some of the ideas I come up with, classic! Changing that lightbulb with wet fingers, it gave me a jolt of energy that no caffeinated drink ever could.When I am killed sometime in the near future (I’m a realist) my brain will most definitely be placed in the Smithsonian. If Archie Bunker’s chair could make it into that sham of a museum, surely my mind has a shot.

(Why is there a picture of an enslaved African man next to this chair? If anyone would have little sympathy it would be Archie Bunker)

With my amazing creative skills I am still modest enough to acknowledge the creativity of others. Yes, sometimes I get jealous when I see someone impress me. I’m angry that I didn’t think of it first. I hope that this creative person has some sort of terminal disease and will soon die so I can claim their ideas as my own. I guess that’s why you never hear about anyone with Stage 5 AIDS inventing something cool. Is AIDS separated into stages? So many Broadway stars of the 1980s had it that I would think this would be a fun way to categorize the disease. And when they die you can joke and say “exit stage left” or something cute like that to lighten the mood.

I find that the more I am around creative people the more creative I become. It’s a very subtle thing too. I’m not so much influenced by them as I am in competition. My competitiveness isn’t so huge. Yeah I’ll scream, curse, and hit if I feel like my fellow Uno players are drawing better cards than I. But how else can you convince someone to forfeit and give you a better chance at victory? It’s good to be around both creative people who you think are better and worse than you are. Fitting somewhere in the middle of the pack lets your head keep from getting too big and detours you from blowing off that head with a shotgun due to how much you suck. That’s how I see it at least. I never like to be the best or the worst. Being the best means people will expect me to always be that tremendous. Being the worst means I should probably hang it up. And by “it” I mean my neck in a noose.

Surrounding yourself with creative people also has a downside. Usually they’ll be more judgmental of you. I hate being judged. That’s why I haven’t shown up to court for that vehicular homicide. That judge doesn’t know me. He has no right to be so judgmental. The worst thing about talented folk is that they can justify their telling you how crappy you are. Not that too many people with talent really care or notice us slobs at the bottom of the barrel of skills. That’s another thing, creative people never really care about other creative people. Take blogging for instance. It’s great to have other bloggers read your stuff, but it’s even better to have non-bloggers do it. Non-bloggers, or shit-heads as us bloggers call them, are much more valuable readers. That’s not to say I don’t appreciate all of my friends who are also writers, but I like it a lot more when those shit-heads I mentioned earlier read my masterpieces. Think of it like you’re a musician and only other musicians are in the audience. That’s not very much fun. They’ll be standing there with their lighters thinking not about how great you are. Instead they’ll be more focused on how they could do that if they wanted.

(Don’t have a blog? This is what you look like to me)

My most favorite thing about creative types is that if we’re lucky we can put our amazing brains together and create something awesome. The keyword in creative is create. That’s not to say the act of creating anything is creative. My nose creates boogers nightly and only about half of them are anything impressive. To be truly creative I think you need to be original, draw emotion from your creation, and be unafraid of failure. It’s not always the first try that brings in the success. So keep on failing readers. Perhaps some day you can claim writing about creativity as something creative like I just did.

  1. I am never going to be creative again, for fear that your jealousy will lead you to want me to die… That will show you. You have a good point about that jamming in front of a room full of musicians. I hate it when you are clever… Now drop dead…
    We could create something together right now. Send me that picture of you in the funny hat you wear. I will replace that hat with the one you pictured above. (I love Photoshop)…

  2. Momina Mela says:

    I think you might have infiltrated my brain because you just wrote down all the thoughts that nag me at the back of my head. I’m jealous that you thought of writing this before I did haha.

    • Mooselicker says:

      There is nothing to be jealous about. I had a rough time trying to put those feelings into words. I know your pain. Tell yourself I have amazing powers to enter brain waves and take out ideas. That way you feel like this is your work and you will be proud, not jealous.

  3. Lauren says:

    I will pass this on to some of my “shit head” friends.

  4. kayennepeppa says:

    You suck. Go die of gonoherpasyphilaids and create a pretty perfect puddle of putrid putrescence. Then I will paint you. It will sell a million copies.

  5. Addie says:

    I was moved by this post.

  6. I’m not judging you, which means I must not be very creative… Oh well, I think I’m going to go change a lightbulb now with wet fingers. That really was a creative idea! You can save tons of money by doing that instead of drinking coffee 😉

  7. This is exactly the reason why I will never write a book – all that work and then I bet some fucker will already have thought of it and written it, better than me. I seriously relate.

    • Mooselicker says:

      I think all you need to do is take an already used idea and target tweens with it. Look at The Hunger Games. Not a very original idea yet you can’t hit on a 13-year-old girl without her bringing it up. I’d say write the book anyway. If Anne Frank’s dumb diary can be popular surely a well-thought-out idea can succeed.

      • All good, except now that’s kind of ‘your’ idea 🙂
        I did read The Hunger Games, and despite its obvious shortcomings, it’s still light years ahead of that schlocky puddle of dross known as Twilight. God that was so badly written. How did that woman become rich/famous with that shit!

      • Mooselicker says:

        Who knows why half the people who are rich and successful are the way they are? Satan does. I think you have to blow him and you become famous. That’s my excuse for why I’m toiling away still.

      • Yeah. High standards 🙂

  8. I can definitely claim to be creative. It’s part of my learning disability. I just think way too outside the box to be considered anything but creative. One thing I am not is artistic. There’s a big difference between the two, namely, TALENT. ha!

    • Mooselicker says:

      Awww give yourself some credit. You went from common blog commenter to blogger extraordinaire in only a few months. Being creative can also be artistic. At least I hope so. Otherwise we’re in the same boat on this. But isn’t art usually just said to be art? Like a painting might stink but if someone says it’s hard then it’s art.

  9. You can’t like yourself, WHO can you like?! 🙂

  10. Pete Howorth says:

    I have a long angry life.

  11. timkeen40 says:

    All this time I thought I was the most creative person ever. You have shattered all my illusions and brought me back to Earth. I thank you for that. Now I can get on with my life and just blindly follow everyone else.

    Great post you have here.


  12. Such a big comedian creative man I want to fuck.

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