Posted: September 1, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

First, apologizes to the many people here who came thinking the title of this was “Da Fetuses.” I never type out “da” instead of “the” so you only have yourself to blame. Please continue to use proper grammar so you never make the same mistake again. Now go back to your rap music where they randomly put apostrophes into the middle of w’ords and suc’h.

A defeatist to me is someone who is there is no hope for. It’s a term I’ve been using a lot more lately. I think it defines many people I encounter. They’re people who have been beaten by the world yet remain blissfully dumb about it all. They’re just happy to not be an obese person who has to leave their home via crane. If I pour out enough positive energy perhaps I can save you from this dreadful fate so many suffer.

How do you identify a defeatist? Well, one way is by looking at the people they have in their lives. Defeatists always have lousy friends, lousy family members, and annoying pets. The friends, family members, and pets always take advantage of the defeatist. They use them for rides, money, and butt scratches. The defeatist lets this happen because the root of their existence is defeat. They embrace being a loser. They’re so sure life is all about being walked over and punished. They insist The Gimp was the star of Pulp Fiction they love punishment so much. You’re only as good as the company you keep. Defeatists keep lousy company. They usually think they have a lot of friends when really their Facebook statuses usually get overlooked.

(Because we all know you are only worth however many Facebook likes you get. Shove that gloved thumb up your ass)

Males tend to be defeatists more than women. Any married man who is pussy-whipped and rarely smiles is a defeatist. They let a woman they don’t even love boss them around. I think a lot of men get this way. I can’t imagine too many guys who marry young not ending up like this someday. It’s not even the wife holding the guy back either. He may also have stupid kids. He’s given up on any dreams he ever had of becoming a professional golfer. He did this because he let life defeat him. He skipped the steps of failing at trying to succeed and went straight to marriage, kids, and a shit job. This is what separates defeatists from losers. At least a loser has tried. At least a loser doesn’t watch The Bachelorette instead of doing what he wants to because the bimbo he married demands he does so.

Women are not so much defeatists because they enjoy pity a lot more than men do. Men have this thing called testosterone. Transsexuals have it too. Don’t let the wig and leopard printed skirt fool you. Those calves belong to a man and you know it. The way I divide women I meet is into three basic categories. There are women who go after what they want and achieve it. There are women who go after what they want, fail, and then take it out on the rest of the world. And there are women who don’t care about anything other than survival. I can handle women who go after what they want no matter what the result. It’s these zombies whose existence is based around continuing to exist that I loathe. Hasn’t Barack Obama taught you anything ladies? If a black man can become president then you can certainly be more than a baby factory. Well, some of you can. There are a ton of women out there who are only capable of spawning children. A little harsh, but that’s reality. Some people are destined to never be good at a single thing.

(Where’s a high tide when you need one?)

Overcoming this travesty you must maintain a positive attitude. I’m starting to become confused what a positive attitude even is. People who bring up the words “positive attitude” never have one. Those who truly are thinking well never put a label on it. They do what they got to do without worrying about whether it’s positive thinking or not. The only people who tell me I’m too negative are people who are negative already. Why would a positive person ever say I’m negative? Telling someone they are negative is a negative thing to say. If I’ve seen you cry twice in the same week or you tell me before noon that you’re having a shitty day then you have a negative attitude. The day is only half over and you’re already calling it a bust. Shut up and stop being mean to everyone if you hate negativity so much.

Waking up one day and realizing I am a defeatist is one of my biggest fears. I don’t want to ever have the feeling that “things could be worse.” Young people who plan on working retail their entire lives are the ultimate defeatists. There’s nothing wrong with working retail. But why when you can’t even rent a car yet would you settle so early? By the time you’re ready to die life expectancy will be close to 90 at least. Do you really want to stock shelves for that long? You’re only young once. Man up, take a chance, and don’t defeat yourself. We really are our own worst enemies. Don’t beat yourself up but beat yourself up because if you don’t beat yourself up as motivation then there’s no chance your life will ever get any better.

(Do it Louis CK without money, crack your skull open. If you don’t do it, no one will)

Do you know anyone who is a defeatist? How much do you want to want to hit them for wasting their life away?

  1. Smaktakula says:

    I think crying more than ONCE a week (excepting the loss of a loved one or a championship for your sports team after a ten plus year drought) means you’re defeatist.

    • Mooselicker says:

      Hmmm I think defeatists are more people who wouldn’t cry about sad things. They almost expect everyone to remind them on a daily basis how ugly they are. They probably do cry in private though. Those aren’t Pepsi stains on their blanket. It’s agony.

  2. The alchemy of defeatist.

  3. renxkyoko says:

    I’m one who will go on doing things until I get it right. * I think * I don’t accept defeat easily. * I think *

  4. a gripping life says:

    I think I’m the anti-defeatist. I’m the person that will die trying. (Much to the chagrin of those in my company.)

  5. Every day, I find myself talking to people who have this sort of attitude. I always make it a point to never sit beside anyone who starts his day with a frown in class. I have very low immunity against them. They’re fooling us all them medical experts, stupidity isn’t the most infectious disease. “Down” syndrome is.

    • Mooselicker says:

      People aged 20-30 are probably the biggest downers in our generation. It’s sad. They get married too early and whatnot because they think that’s all they can ever achieve.

      You gave a new meaning to down syndrome. I’m going to use that the next time I see someone sad and see if I get punched.

  6. Pete Howorth says:

    I’m a violent defeatist, I’ll give up once my OCD lets me, then I’ll punch something, wardrobe/wall/table/small furry animal.

  7. You have been defeated by my wish post… sucka!

  8. Cafe says:

    “Don’t beat yourself up but beat yourself up because if you don’t beat yourself up as motivation then there’s no chance your life will ever get any better.” <— haha, love this!

    I'm sure I've met a defeatist or two before, it's just been a while since I've allowed any of them to pervade my life with their "negative attitude" =P

    But I'm sure many of us have been through it at some point. Just that feeling of hopelessness and that things aren't gonna get better. You really need to have some good supports to get you out of it, and many people do, but maybe that's what defeatists don't have (as you pointed out, they have the lousy family, friends and pet).

    • Mooselicker says:

      I think a true defeatist though gets there and never gets out of it. So in a way you never know when you are one or not. People are too cowardly when it comes to change and risk taking. They get too cozy. They’re 24, have their first real job, have a girlfriend for a year, hey next thing you know they’re married, wishing they weren’t, and thinking about assisted suicide. I’ve come to realize I’ll probably live to be 90 and that’s if I’m in bad health with all the advances we have and will have. Plenty more time for me to settle in and get comfortable. Let me knock myself down a few times first then pick myself back up before throwing in the towel.

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