All Do Respects

Posted: September 15, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Aretha Franklin is best known for having a first name that looks eerily similar to the word Urethra. Second on her accomplishments list is being a singer. Her biggest song was one called “Respect” where she spells out the word and chaos ensues. It’s a catchy song everyone knows. It also raises an interesting subject, what does respect mean to each of us?

(Hank Hill has a narrow urethra, not a narrow Aretha)

I’m not someone who demands respect. Sure, I’d like if people respected me more. Fact of the matter is I don’t respect myself enough to feel it necessary for others to respect me as much as they probably should. This is called self-respect. Whenever you want to figure out what the word is for something you do by yourself just add the word self in front of it. Mutilating yourself is self-mutilation. The esteem you have for yourself is self-esteem. Touching your private parts is called self-sex. Make sure you don’t have too much self-sex, you could go blind/lose respect for women.

Adults demand respect from younger children. In school I always heard about respecting elders and other nonsense I had no time for. The thing about respect is it means something different to all of us. To me respect is letting a person do what they got to do and not judging them or standing in their ways. To many people respect means bowing at their feet and treating them as if they’re gods. Behaving this way and making someone else more special than they really should be will make you lose your self-respect and in that way you are being disrespectful. So the next time some high and mighty dope tells you to respect them more remind them you respect yourself enough to never respect them.

I have a code I follow to help me remain at least somewhat respectful. I never disrespect someone in their home or houseboat. That’s their turf. I have no right to say anything degrading about their lifestyle even if their home is messy or their houseboat has a leak. I would not want someone coming into where I live and telling me I have to do things their way. If I’m at a religious person’s house and they pray, I’ll appease them and not make a deal of it. If I’m at a person’s home where they don’t swear, I’ll watch what I say. If I’m at a dangerous black person’s house, please call the police. I’m probably in danger.

(You think John Stockton ever buys Magnums just to fit in with his peers?)

Being respectful also goes both ways. It also means you should not live your life in a “My Way or the Highway” sense. Do you want to be like Limp Bizkit? Of course you don’t. Their singer is a fat Ginger. I’m fine with people having a set of morals they like to instill in others but at the same point to be truly respectful I think they need to allow and understand not everyone chooses to live their live the same way as they do. To be truly respectful you must let people be who they are even when you know they’re nuts.

(Wearing a red hat all the time qualifies to me as being a Ginger)

Musicians, sports stars, and other idiots seem to toss out the word respect a lot more than ever before. You never heard Jackie Robinson complaining about how no one respected him. The guy had to put up with more than any other athlete ever had to and not once did he go on Twitter complaining about how the fans don’t respect his ass. Demanding respect is the most pitiful thing on the planet and I’m including New Zealand in my discussion. Why should respect be demanded? Shouldn’t it, like everything else in life, be earned? If people don’t respect you they probably have a fairly good reason for it.

Who do I respect? I respect anyone who can be honest about their flaws. This is the one quality in people I always find endearing. That’s not to say someone who always whines about how much they suck has my respect. Whining never gets on my good side. I also automatically respect anyone who ever takes the time to make me feel special, important, or sexy. I can’t spend every day having self-sex, I need others to make me feel like I have more value than that. If you’re reading this you have made me feel special, important, and sexy. Thank you.

What makes you respect a person? Or better yet, who is someone in your life you could never lose respect for? I could never lose respect for Jared Fogle of Subway fame. The guy became famous for eating sandwiches. I feel like that was my destiny.

(Jared Fogle proves you can lose a ton of weight and still be incredibly gross looking)

  1. Hey, are you sure you want to know…?
    I respect people who have integrity and seek the truth. I have respect for people who have a moral compass and try to live by it, which is not always easy. I respect people who walk the talk, so to speak. I respect goodness, kindness, mercy and compassion. I respect people who try to maintain an open, soft, and giving heart. I respect courage in the face of opposition and danger.

    I have no respect for people who mock others, judge, condemn, and are hypocritical. I don’t respect bullies. I have no respect for people who have a mob mentality who follow others because they themselves have an underdeveloped sense of right and wrong. I have no respect for people who are motivated by fear, reward and punishment. I have no respect for people who are desperate to appear “cool” and are motivated by their need for approval, popularity or to be liked.
    (I think I have a lot more here but I’ll leave it at that.)

    • Mooselicker says:

      It seems almost to me that you don’t respect people who behave like a mean dog.

      Good selection. You know exactly what it is you value in a person and what qualities a person can have that is no good. I particularly liked your “desperate to look cool thing” because this is something I’ve been noticing more and more. Stop it. You’ll never be as cool as Harrison Ford.

      • That may be at the top of the list. It’s so weak and desperate. There’s nothing about it that I respect. Harrison Ford is super cool – in the movies, that is. (when he got the earring I was like, “What the heck are you doing at age 65!!”) With that one wannabe choice he lost a lot of cool power in my estimation.

      • Mooselicker says:

        Maybe Harrison is the ultimate person trying to act cool. He went to acting school all those years just to fool good folk like you and me. I never knew he got an earring. I feel a little queer now having that tight-pantsed Han Solo poster hanging above my bed knowing he has an earring.

      • hahah! I know. My husband was so disturbed when he did that. It’s one thing to do it in your 20’s but at 65? Maybe he thought he had to be cool for his young wife, Callista? haha!

  2. The Waiting says:

    Ah! So many thoughts, so I’m just going to tick them off:
    1, The first line of this is really reminiscent of the parody comic Neil Hamburger. Have you ever heard of him? He’s pretty funny.
    2, I completely agree with you that you should always respect people in their own homes. Your reaction when you went to the church gathering a bit ago is really illustrative of this.
    3, Do you follow Jose Canseco on Twitter? From what you said about the celebrities least deserving of respect clammering for it, it sounds like you do.
    4, There are actually very few people I have 100% respect for, but my best friend’s parents definitely have my respect. This is primarily because they never ordered me to respect them, but their lives are so admirable that I can’t help but do so.
    5, Thank you for adding me to your blogroll.

    • Mooselicker says:

      1. Yes I’ve heard of him. Doesn’t he always do interviews in different characters just to mess with people? At least the one I saw he did.

      2. You’re agreeing with me which is good.

      3. I don’t follow him but I’m guessing I should? The Simpsons commentary from the baseball episode he was on said he hated how they originally wrote him so the writers purposefully made him into some mega hero who saves a woman from a fire. Nobody likes Canseco. He has such a big hit that balls hit off it and over the wall for a home run.

      4. They sound like people everyone should respect.

      5. I did it a while ago and no problem! I’m always about 3 months behind on updating the damn thing.

  3. Addie says:

    I swear, I’m going to just start sending Grippy a check every month and have her post for me.

    I respect anyone who stands up for those who are weaker than themselves, who believe in hope when hope seems impossible. I respect people who come to your home to discuss their faith. I respect decency and mercy and empathy.

    I do not respect those who use others willy nilly. I do not respect those who use others in any way. I do not respect people who feel themselves better than others for any reason. Do not look to me for approval if you lie to someone to bring them into your life, then, walk away without looking back. I have NO respect for those people who have a child, yet, pretend they don’t. If you mistreat an animal or a child, well, be prepared for me to be in your face. I’m willing to take the chance to be harmed in order to protect the innocent.

    I’ll get off my soapbox now.

  4. I don’t know about John Stockton, but I buy Magnums just to LOOK cool, and I’m married, and my husband doesn’t use condoms LOL.

    I like your writing. I especially like the comments under the pictures. They always kill me. Oh, and having respect for people on their houseboats, because a lot of people live on them, ya know.

    • Mooselicker says:

      Buy the condom and let it tenderly slip out from the wallet when a pretty girl walks by. That old trick, eh?

      Thanks for the compliments. I’ve always fancied myself a good captioneer but only ever won one contest. There was no prize and it was pointless in trying.

  5. Seb says:

    I never disrespect someone in their home or houseboat. That’s their turf.

    What about in their tree-house or pillow fort?

    • Mooselicker says:

      That’s just an incredibly stupid thing to ask. Nobody lives in pillow forts anymore. This isn’t 1973. Times have changed.

      But seriously, I would pay them great respect.

  6. I don’t respect Limp Bizkit. I also don’t respect limp biscuits. I respect people who speak their mind, who are respectful of others, who walk the walk as opposed to just talking the talk.

    And I respect people who can eat just one potato chip. That’s discipline.

  7. I was always confused by the idea of demanding respect. Is that even possible? If someone tried that with me, the answer would be no.

  8. renxkyoko says:

    I don’t respect cheaters.
    I don’t respect liars.
    I don’t respect those who scream the name of Jesus , but don’t follow His teachings.
    I don’t respect arrogant people who think they are always right.
    I don’t respect braggarts.
    I don’t respect cheaters.
    I don’t respect cheaters
    I don’t respect cheaters.

  9. Smaktakula says:

    Good stuff, but I would expect no less from a man willing to tongue an over muscled deer.
    Thank you for reminding me about Fred Durst. Sometimes (meaning nightly) I cry myself to sleep because I haven’t achieved the fame I so richly deserve. But on the plus side, I’m not Fred Durst.

  10. Fred Durst. What a chump (hey) what a chump (hey) what a chump (hey).

    Respect needs to be earned, but some people think that comes with annual leave.

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