Disappearances

Posted: October 10, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Every year thousands of people go missing. They’re abducted by aliens, kidnapped by Mexicans then sold to Colombians to pay off an ancient Aztec debt, and others spontaneously combust in the shower (that’s why there’s no evidence of a fire or burnt clothing). Like a magician I will be doing a disappearing act. Not for long, a week perhaps. I’ll be on vacation/holiday/a whore seducting spree, whatever you want to call it. All that matters is I will be absent from all blogging activities until I return from vacation/holiday/all the whores in Los Angeles are swooning over me begging to taste my pimp hand again. I’ll let you know if I’m alive in about a week.

When I get back I plan on talking about the trip along with a lot about food and destiny, mostly food and never the destiny of food. Food’s only destiny is to become poop. End of story.

And while you’re off missing me, check this out The Tim Boyle Day of Excellence

Comments
  1. julesagray says:

    …poop or vomit.
    enjoy.

  2. Try not to seduce too many whores. You could get Herpes, or worse. Have fun!

  3. A gripping life says:

    Have fun!!!

  4. That sounds like fun. Be safe. They will pop a cap in yo ass for driving down the wrong street in La La land.

  5. Seb says:

    Whore seducting is much the same as normal seducting except you get to use the phrase “upside the head” a whole lot more.

  6. Lily says:

    You will have a great time. Hopefully your destiny will be to live somewhere cool like LA instead of America’s armpit. Be safe, don’t talk to too many whores!

  7. Pete Howorth says:

    Don’t die.

    Or I’ll kill you.

  8. It would probably be in bad taste for me to remind you to wear condoms, so I’ll just wish you a Happy Holiday!

  9. We’re all going to come to your blog and leave nasty and embarrassing comments while you’re gone. Have a nice trip!

  10. I almost feel sorry for Los Angeles. They have no idea what they’re in for.

  11. Addie says:

    If anything happens, do I get your computer?

    Either way, have fun!!

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