Racists, Sexists, and Other Misunderstood Accusations

Posted: January 8, 2013 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Back in the 1950s there was this thing called Communism. Americans were terribly afraid of it because they were told to be. During this time a man named Joseph McCarthy was out calling anyone whose face he didn’t like a Communist. In those days being accused a Communist was the worst thing you could call a person. Then things like Civil Rights, Women’s Liberation, and general respect toward Circus Freaks happened. These things were necessary but a funny thing happened. Now that everyone was on an equal playing field and the Communists weren’t so evil anymore we ran out of bad guys. Imagine Batman without bad guys. Most likely he’d turn on those closest to him.


(Take away bad guys in the world and you take away this old cartoon man’s life)

These days the worst things you can call a person are a racist, a sexist, a homophobe, or a Republican which I am told are all racists, sexists, and homophobes anyway. Really? You think Ronald Reagan kept Nancy around just so he could beat her and insult her? Sounds pretty retarded to me. Of course, retarded is a word we’re not allowed to say because it offends people who know retarded people. So if you do the math properly I should get offended every time someone uses the word pussy because God knows I know a lot of them.

I don’t really get called a racist or sexist ever more than in joking. I get away with it because I don’t associate with people who go around tossing those accusations like they have the highest morals on the planet. I’m not racist. I know I’m not. I don’t even have to defend it for any reason at all. I could. I could say I’ve had friends of all different races. That still proves nothing. I’m also not a sexist. Sure, women piss me off a ton. I still would never treat one poorly just because her gender. Unless she was into that kind of thing which actually makes me like a girl more.


(I don’t know a thing about this woman but I want to marry her)

When you call someone a racist you’re making a huge stance. You’re saying that person is basically Hitler without a following. And people who follow you on Twitter don’t count as an army. Unless they retweet everything you say. I’ll count it then. I have met racists though and I know the difference between someone simply making a joke and being a full-blown racist. Someone making a joke will comment on race. It doesn’t matter if it’s in poor taste or not, if it has any semblance of a joke it probably was meant to be. Most people aren’t funny, keep that in mind. A full-blown racist would be someone who for no reason other than to add an extra noun into their vocabulary tosses out the N-Word and seems to have speeches stuck in their head how much they despise a certain race. If you can’t tell the difference between the two you probably shouldn’t be calling people names anyway.

What I believe has happened is people have gone completely soft when it comes to what can and cannot be joked about. Anything funny needs a victim. That’s not me saying it, that’s scientific fact. Any funny joke you ever come across will have a victim to it. The joke doesn’t have to be harsh or cruel, but there must be a victim. There must be someone who is made to look stupid, ignorant, or end up harmed. The problem is people have such a poor sense of humor these days and they are such wimps they never allow themselves to be a victim. I don’t find this prideful or tough. I think not allowing yourself to be the victim for humor makes you stubborn and boring. Boring of course to me is the worst thing you can call a person.

I’m not sure where everything went wrong. I didn’t pay attention much in history class because all my teachers were women and what do they know about history? See, I’m clearly joking. No high school would hire ALL female history teachers. Girls just don’t know anything about our past and that’s why men make better history teachers. Again, I’m joking. Are you offended? I hope not.


(“We know lots about history. Hitler was bad and the polka dot was invented in 1957.” – all women everywhere)

Really what I wanted to say here was if at any point you think “that shouldn’t be joked about” then you’re probably wrong. If it offends you, don’t go out of your way to make it a problem. Why give yourself that stress? Why get offended by anything that isn’t a direct and cruel attack on you or someone you care about? Not even something. Individuals are much more important than any belief system. I would hope anyone reading this would defend a person no matter who they are over a belief any day.

Stop being babies. Stop trying to censor the world. Grow up. If someone makes a joke that offends you, make a joke back at them. Some people didn’t want Mitt Romney for president because he seemed too mean and aggressive which is the exact reason why you should want someone to be president. “Mr. Gorbachev please if you wouldn’t mind can you consider tearing down that wall?” doesn’t have the same gusto as the real quote.

America, get your hard-on back.

  1. Once again I feel bad. I have accused you of all these things… in a more or less joking way. Obviously you are not any of them. You dislike people of all colors and religions and sexualities equaly. You are nothing if not fair.

  2. Brother Jon says:

    I think men make better history teachers just because they make better basketball coaches….at least that’s how it works around here.

  3. Lily says:

    This is my favorite post. I hate when people play policeman and feel the need to patrol the internet or people’s thought processes. Hasn’t our country blessed us with freedom of speech? People are overly sensitive and trying to protect the feelings of others when other people could probably care less.

  4. twindaddy says:

    Amen. I can’t stand when people get their titties twisted over a fucking joke. Get a sense of humor. If you can’t laugh about life then you’re not enjoying it.

  5. Seb says:

    As a Republican, I don’t know how to feel 🙂 Seriously, on the N-word. My inamorata says that she reserves the right to use the N-word (much like America reserved the right to use the H-Bomb in the 60’s – as a deterrent) as long as African American males et al keep using the words “ho” and “Bitch” with such free abandon. If they are prepared to use language which demeans her experience as a human being and claim a cultural context for it, why should she not be empowered to do likewise to them? Not that I have ever heard her use it, but, given that rationale, does that make her a racist?

    Oh and immediately subsequent events seem to be proving Romney eerily right. i mean, he is still a nutcase, but a politically incorrect correct nutcase!

    • Mooselicker says:

      That seems to be a very good rule. I’m not sure I could ever implement anything into my life like that though. I really don’t get insulted as much as I pretend to.

      Republicans are the good guys now it seems. They never complain. They kick ass and take names.

  6. robpixaday says:

    Oh, yes.

    You did a grand job of covering all the points here. I can’t add anything. But I’m just a woman and what do know? If it’s not drenched in polka dots, I’m clueless about it.

    By the way, All the Polish people I used to know are dead now so I can’t ask them: I’m wondering if anyone ever complained about the “polka” in polka dots. I just looked up the derivation of the term and found out that it’s not all that exciting. It’s not dull, either. It’s just … meh.

    “Meh” is my favorite epithet these days. I wish there were a nominative form. Mehness? Mehthnicity?

    Anyway, GREAT post.
    I hope you see this comment because all of my other ones, all over WordPress, are going into peoples’ “moderation” bins again. It’s the new mail address, I think. It doesn’t sound human.


  7. Well said – sticks and stones etc

  8. All I can say to this post is, “Fuck yeah!!!” I want that slogan, “America, get your hard-on back” embroidered on pillows, put on bumper stickers, t-shirts, everywhere. We’ve become a nation of whiners and grievers who have turned political correctness into an art form. It’s embarrassing.

  9. Cafe says:

    Great post, Tim. Very thought-provoking and I’ve had a very similar debate about this before with some friends. I agree that we’ve gone way overboard on the political-correctness rampage to the point where you don’t even know whether you can say a white person’s “white” or a black person’s “black”. To some degree I understand why it’s happened and that maybe in some ways it has helped towards people who are truly being oppressed overcome that. Depends on the exact situation we’re talking about. That being said, I believe in being able to make fun of yourself and not taking what other people (especially comedians and TV show writers 😉 say so seriously.

    • Mooselicker says:

      Yep Yep Yep.

      It’s all about context and the mission behind it. You shouldn’t openly go out to hurt someone else for any reason at all. I think it’s because most people are just very unfunny. Unfunny people don’t understand jokes in the first place. They hear certain words and that will bother them. It’s also how you say it. If you say “black person” with hesitation people are much more likely to get offended then if you say it like it’s the right thing to say.

  10. Cafe says:

    P.S. I can’t seem to watch the video on your homepage on my phone. I can’t wait to get internet on my laptop!!!

  11. Pete Howorth says:

    Have you ever seen Blazing Saddles? That’s some funny shit.

    I agree, words are just that, words. everyone just seems to be so sensitive these days and they’re the sort of people I don’t want to associate with, people get all offended with this and that because it’s not politically correct, fuck politically correctness, if you can’t handle it piss off you damn crackers.

    Words are only bad because someone has told you they are.

    • Mooselicker says:

      I saw it when it was on TV so it wasn’t as good. Although I could still appreciate the sheriff being a “near”

      Dead on Pete. And the most hurtful words are the ones that are usually true.

  12. If America doesn’t have a hard-on, then Philippines must have lost its pee pee.

    There I’m being self-racist.

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