What better day to post about dreams? Today is that big dreaming schemer Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday. It seemed way too inappropriate not to post this today.

I like interpreting dreams because I like making stupid people think I’m really smart when I easily take one of their obvious insecurities and relate it to a dream. Yep, that’s how you do it. The carny trick has been revealed. Now that you know this is how it’s done and you know if you read this blog enough about me, I would like you to help interpret a dream I recently had.

The dream started off late into an adventure. I had for some reason signed up for a contest to win free train tickets for a year. I guess I would really sign up for this if it was a real contest though because train tickets are expensive. I think we could probably knock the price down a couple bucks if we didn’t have the ticket takers and conductors wear such fancy clothing with hats. At least get rid of the hats. Punching holes into tickets is not a job that requires a cap.


(Does she really need the hat to operate a train properly? As seductive as I’m sure she is, a train conductor is never something I have fantasized about)

The way the contest worked was basically like The Amazing Race. We had to take public transportation from place to place and using the electronic ticket machines buy very specified tickets. Somehow I managed to get to the final leg of the contest. Unfortunately though my opponent was Usain Bolt, Olympian and fastest man in the world. I never think about Usain Bolt. There is no reason why he should be in my dream. He even had on his stupid yellow track shirt. Did I see a Nike commercial recently? Is this guy the Jamaican Freddy Krueger?

While on the final train headed to the last ticket machine Mr. Bolt turned to me and said “Tim, I know these tickets will be much more valuable to you. I’m going to throw the challenge and let you win. I don’t even live locally. What am I going to do with those tickets?” Only he said it in more dream speak where he didn’t articulate himself well and I simply just knew what he was saying.


(Usain Bolt, the fastest man alive, closest to man to ever run a mile while running picking his nose)

The train stopped and we ran off. He dragged his feet and let me get a huge head start. At the ticket machine we began to try buying our tickets. All I had to do was push all the right buttons then hop on the train and I would win. This is when trouble struck. I couldn’t figure it out. Buying these tickets mine as well have been trying to tie a woman’s tubes. Like I think I could figure out a way to accidentally tie the tubes, like literally tying them like shoelaces, but no matter what buttons I pushed on the machine nothing was working.

Mr. Bolt was doing his best to let me do what I had to do. I was sweating and kept screwing up. Finally the ticket began to print. I made a dash for the gate and when I put the ticket into the machine it said “Insufficient Funds” meaning I had done something incorrectly. The security guard standing nearby began laughing at me and hurling insults. His insults and observations about how much I sucked did nothing to help me. I was even more discombobulated than ever before now and it looked like I would never buy the ticket I needed.

It was around this time I woke up. The first thing I thought was how often I have dreams like this. I must at least once a month have a dream where I’m back in little league baseball. Whenever it comes my turn to go up to bat I wake up. Part of it is from nerves and another is from the stress I get of having all eyes on me, an entire team dependent on how I do. Still, I think there’s a lot more to it.

So I ask you, what do you think my dream means?

  1. Lily says:

    I think the Amazing Race-esque journey means that you want to escape, you want to move or leave. Do you ever fear that you won’t have enough money? Maybe that’s what the Insufficient funds thing was about. And maybe the conductor laughing at you triggers when you were teased when you were younger. And maybe you always wake up before you bat because you’re afraid of failure.
    These are all really easy connections that I’m making that most likely aren’t true. But maybe I should become a dream analyst?

    • You’re probably not that incredibly off. I really hope it’s nothing about moving since I just did. Who doesn’t worry about not having enough money? And who hates being laughed at? I’m not telling you you’re wrong because you came to just about the same conclusion I always did. I think I never get up to bat because I hate being depended on by many people to do one thing. I’m also weary of competition with public failure. This could have something to do with it.

    • Lily has some sweet Freud-like skills. I’d listen to her. It sounds like there’s a lot of anxiety and fears tied up in this dream. Also, you seem to feel a sense of urgency, things are time sensitive, you have to prove yourself…?

  2. Addie says:

    I have dreams within dreams, and I don’t even know Christopher Nolan.

  3. josefkul says:

    This is probably a dream about failure or the fear of failure. At the end, your dream seems to fall apart as you desperately attempt to obtain the tickets, but always fall short. Are you frustrated with your career or achievements? Are you striving for something which continually seems to be just out of your grasp like the tickets? Do you feel as if you are closing in on one of your life long goals, but are afraid that the end you see clearly in the distance will only be discovered as the beginning you struggled so hard to escape from.

    You could also just really like trains.

    • I don’t like that you came up with a completely different interpretation than the others so far and I think yours is just as correct. That’s the thing about dream interpretations, al it does is point out our weaknesses. Too bad these are already things I know about myself and am working to change. I hope it’s that I just like trains too much. This failure thing scares me.

  4. Carry some cash with you.

  5. Luddy's Lens says:

    Actually, I think some HMOs still tie tubes that way. So, you know, at least you having something to fall back on.

    (And I agree with josefkul.)

  6. I could tell you what this dream means… but then I would have to kill you… and then kill myself… Ha!

  7. Well, that’s a hard one. Experience taught me that most of the things you dream off are things you’ve seen, heard, or thought of. So no matter what you say, Usain Bolt has crossed your mind sometime that day…
    Further on, listen to Lily. Man, your dreams are pretty fucked up :). But hey, that’s how dreams are supposed to be.

  8. Pete Howorth says:

    I think it has something to do with your latent desire for a homosexual experience. You’re fucked up.

    Saying that, I dreamt an old midget with saggy tits blew me, so what do I know.

  9. I have nothing useful to add at all. But that’s a really funny picture of Usain Bolt.

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