I’ve been unemployed and living in a new town a little over a month now. In that time I have done a lot of good with my time. I’m at the point now where expectations for myself have gone even higher than before which was pretty high already. I think I’ve always had high expectations for myself. When I was younger I once discovered a freckle near my pinky. I assumed this freckle was a physical flaw and did whatever I could to try washing it off. At one point I figured the freckle was also a piece of shit that grafted itself into my hand. I think I’m at that point again. If I find one back hair longer than the other I freak out. Who could ever love a man with different sized back hairs?

Over the last few weeks, I guess it’s only been about 3 but it’s felt like a whole lot more, I’ve been doing whatever it takes to build up my credibility and keep productive. Although in retrospect I’ve gotten done in 3 weeks what would have probably normally taken me maybe 6 or 7, it still doesn’t feel like it’s enough. I come from the MTV generation. I need immediate satisfaction. I like my food fast, my cars furious, and my sex to last no longer than 10 seconds. I thought I was stronger than this but I guess I’m like everyone else.

So to feed the little boy inside me that’s jumping up and down yelling “Pay attention to me! Look over here! Daddy, why are you always at work? Mommy, can you turn off the TV and listen to me. Teacher, why don’t you remember my name? Friends, where are you?” I am going to attempt to over the next few weeks on a weekly basis share one “creative endeavor” I have undertaken. This can be anything like the video I did yesterday to me sharing a few stories from my stand-up comedy days to the premiere of my own short animated series I put together and finished up yesterday. Hint, hint, I don’t feel like hyping something up big time if it falls flat. But trust me, I never put hard work into anything then actually release it publicly unless I can live with it being terrible. I’ve probably filmed 5 hours worth of footage from me trying to make videos and very few ever make it because I either think I look fat in the video or it’s just plain bad. What I’m saying is don’t get your hopes up but also maybe get a little excited?

I guess that’s all. Oh here are just two observations about things women that annoy me.

“Do you think you can handle me?” – woman

How is this a flirtatious thing to say? All it lets me know is that you’re a troublemaker and you’re difficult to handle. Do you know what else is difficult to handle? Biohazardous material. And I stay away from that shit.

“I don’t bite. At least not hard.” – woman

Then say you nibble. There’s a word for not biting hard, nibbling. Use it. Expand your vocabulary.

biting

(I hope this picture was created for the phrase “Her bark is bigger than her bite” because I would hate for this nice gal to have to do this for any other reason than a cliché)

Comments
  1. twindaddy says:

    Chomping wood. Heh heh.

  2. That’s my tree, the bitch.

  3. robpixaday says:

    I didn’t tweet this one because when a lot of people show up there’ll be lines to see your stuff and I don’t wait in line for anything. So I tweeted one of your others. But I think I did it wrong so I tweeted it again. I hope you can you handle the notoriety.

    Seriously, sounds good. Creative Endeavors are always intriguing. And you can deduct* them on your income tax if you earn more $250,000.

    😉

    *But don’t.

    • If I earn more than $250,000 on anything I’m taking all my blog friends out for lobster and steak. I think last year I cracked $100,000 earned in my lifetime. There’s always the next life right?

      Wait, I thought you were Freshly Pressed. Shouldn’t you treat me like I have leprocy now?

      • robpixaday says:

        LOL…!!
        No, I’m an equal-opportunity annoyer. I annoy everybody, even before they’ve been Freshly-Pressed.

        And if that html doesn’t work I’m going to come back and fix it.

  4. Surely, I’m not the only one who sees this as an opportunity for a “beaver” joke … right?

  5. rebecca2000 says:

    I’m sorry you are out of work. We are going on a month and a half. It sucks. I wish you the best.

    Yeah, the best women flirters are the ones that don’t try to flirt. The banter is natural.

    x,
    Becca

  6. Our little inner you really is growing up so fast.

  7. atlasivy says:

    I can’t flirt for shit. So I just don’t bother. Haha

  8. Lily says:

    You should do more vids. I’ll need to figure out how to do them so we can compete. I don’t think I could act or tell jokes like you though. But yeah videos are a nice refreshing change.

  9. Addie says:

    I think the comments on your blog are as interesting as the blog itself (not counting this one).

  10. Cafe says:

    Where the heck is that picture from?? O_o

    Yay to creative endeavours! And dude, you do NOT look fat in your videos. You work that camera. Lol.

  11. Seb says:

    Dude, the correct come back to “I don’t bite. At least not hard” is “Oh, really? Let me teach you how to, then”. Sexage will ensue.

  12. It is always good to be doing something new and creative in your life. For instance, I ate some celery today as a snack and I already feel better for pretending that it was as good as a Pop Tart. I’m excited to see your animation! Maybe someday when you and Lily have sold Kidz Showz for $12 mil, the new writers will write about it.

    • Celery IS as good as a Pop Tart. Aren’t Pop Tarts the greatest? I think I need to write a post on them. They’re the one thing I never buy because I will eat the whole box in the car ride home. Plus I haven’t owned a toaster in like 6 years.

      Don’t even tease me about 12 million dollars. That’s just cruel.

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