Okay so it’s that time of the week again where I share some fantabulous non-traditional blogging project I’ve been doing I promised myself I would put a lot of time and energy into. Luckily I’m a few weeks ahead and have the next month or so complete, for the most part. I guess I could always make a video of a cat doing something if I get lazy. People love that shit.
Anyway, this week I’m letting you all know about another book I wrote up that’s available for your reading leisure. It’s called Silence: My Worst Stand-Up Comedy Performances and Experiences. It’s about exactly what the title suggests. On February 2, 2006 I tried doing stand-up comedy for the first time. It didn’t go very well. I wrote about it in this book. Two weeks later I got booed off stage. Well, I was already leaving to be fair but it sounds more tragic to say the boos forced me off stage. I was 18 at the time and still in high school. I had people more than twice their age booing me and I didn’t kill myself. I wrote about it in this book! There are a few more stories. The time I was asked to never show my face in a club ever again as well as the time I had a room full of 200 high school students throw gum at me because I lied to them. I won’t tell you what I told them but it’s pretty funny and is a bucket list item.
There are more stories as well. They’re not my “sad depressing I want to kill myself because the audience is only 3 people and 1 is my dad” stories. They’re more about everything being my own fault and how I was nothing more than a silly young man with no clue what I was doing. They’re written very much in the vain as this blog; very detailed, honest, and self-deprecating. I don’t think some of my closest friends or family members know some of these stories so hey, learn a little bit about things I never told anyone because it was so embarrassingly cringe-worthy.
Right now it’s only up on Amazon because I’m attempting to see how their Amazon Exclusive Feature works. If you have a Kindle, no problem. If you don’t have a Kindle you will need to download there feature here.
The way Amazon Exclusive works is you can only make something free for 5 days every 90 days. Okay then…so if you have even remote interest and would like a free copy I’d recommend doing it now. I’ll put it up on other sites later on of course, but I wanted to give this a try. Of course you could always wait a few days and buy it for the incredibly low price of $1. Or even better, you can buy a million copies for free and give me a million dollars. It doesn’t matter. All I ask if you get a free copy is that you leave a review for me once you’re done because people actually buy things from Amazon. Or I think if you’re a Kindle Prime member you can borrow it and I’ll still get money. Yeah, if you’re one of those do that and we’ll find out. I don’t care. Just read it. I’m going to leave this free for 3 days so I can use the other 2 days later on.
What do I promise with this book? I promise you humorous tales of failure. If you hate me you’ll love this because like nothing good happens to me except for a gay person giving me a high-five. I insult myself throughout and you’ll get a better idea of what I was like when I was younger, a naive idiot who didn’t understand anything about relating to other human beings. I’m so glad I’m nothing like that anymore. That was a half-joke.
Thanks and I hope you read it, enjoy it, and you learn something about incredibly heartbreaking the lowest rungs of show business can be.