I’ll keep this short and sweet then maybe say something incredibly nasty at the end so you know it’s me. I entered a contest about a month ago where we needed to write a cliffhanger 1,000 words or less. I was excited because I enjoy competition and thought I could slip out of this one with the victory. Low and behold the contest is nothing more than a popularity contest. Its only function is to help the author who put the contest together get more Likes on his author page on Facebook. Fair enough. It’s just a little disheartening that I could have held down the “j” key 80 times and as long as I had a lot of people to vote for me I would have won. Who knows, maybe the contest is rigged and it’s actually not a complete sham. Perhaps there’s some outside chance this contest was not created with the sole intent of promoting his new book.
Still, I’d like to win. Chances are I won’t because people with big families always win these contests and that’s not something I have other than you guys. Awww.
Here are the steps you must take in order to vote for me. Unfortunately you need a Facebook account to do it which seems like this could be a really allegorical point about voters and IDs.
1) Go here
2) Like the page
3) Click on the Contest button
4) CTRL + F then search for “Tim” because that’s me
5) Click on the little “Vote” square at the bottom of my story. You can read it too. You should read it. This is a contest about voting for the best one, right? No. It’s not. Life is bullshit.
6) Make sure it counted your vote
7) Do it again maybe?
8) Beg me to vote for you the next time you need help. I’ll be more than willing.
That’s it. Thank you. Make me a beauty queen.
(This could be me, but you know, not a black female)