The Internet is an amazing invention. Without it I don’t know what I would spend my time doing. Even when I’m not online I’m thinking about what I can do in normal life that can somehow become valuable on the Internet. The only downside to the Internet other than all of the child porn, Craigslist killers, and accessibility for cyber terrorists to our bank accounts, are whiners.
People love to whine. I like to do it too. Whining makes us feel like we’re solving our problems. When it’s illegal to choke a small animal to get your angst out, we have to resort to something else. More often than not that something else is unnecessarily complaining. My inspiration for this post came from reading a few reviews when I was looking up how much New Jersey Devils hockey tickets cost. I would like to share with you some of the reviews I saw then follow it up with some snarky commentary.
(This is the proper way to whine. Keep quiet, make a funny face, and then make a career out of hating people)
“Tough getting to our seats in that crowded section. Enjoyed maybe two bites of my cheese steak sandwich. Boring play.”
What was so tough about it? I bet this person is obese. They got a cheesesteak at a hockey game after all. Who does that? And they never even specified why they enjoyed two bites. Did they start a third bite then realized how fucking fat they were and could no longer enjoy it because they felt bad about the way they look? And what does the game being boring have to do with buying tickets? Some games are going to be boring you idiot.
“…To add to our less then mediocre experience the roving Devils camerman would not record any kids wearingcaps, t-shirts etc. of the opposing team. How triflin! Why don’t they play The Hockey Game (song) at the Rock?”
Dude, it’s their job to record home team fans for the home team television network. It would look terrible if they were showing opposing fans filling the stands. What’s with using the word trifling? And what’s wrong with using the letter “g” at the end of it? This guy really pissed me off when he started complaining about how they don’t play a song he likes. Get an iPod and stay home.
“…I don’t find the “Hey you suck” goal chant to be at all appropriate, funny, clever, or innovative–it’s just plain ignorant. I had two LA Kings fans sitting next to me, and the verbal abuse to which they were subjected was appalling. I apologized to that couple as I left, and told them that I hoped their team won the Cup.”
Clearly this was written by a woman who doesn’t understand sports. “Hey you suck” was the offensive thing people were shouting? Christ, you’re in Newark. Walk down two blocks and see something much more offensive, like a gang member shoving a gun in your face calling you a motherfucker as he asks you for your wallet.
“Also, overzealous police. I am 60 years old. They took my 2″ swiss army knife I have had for 25 years. Very stupid”
So you have had the Swiss army knife since you were 35, correct? And if it meant something really important to you like it was given to you by a dead relative I think you would have mentioned it, no? So you’re complaining because you were carrying the dumbest kind of knife there is. It was probably an impulse buy anyway during your first mid-life crisis. Good riddance. I hope the police use it to cut their ass hairs.
“I have to say the policy against any kind of food and drinks turned me off when my family was forced to forego the water bottle and snacks my kids love when we entered the stadium…”
This is policy everywhere. No stadium will allow you to bring food because if they let you do this they could not make money off of concessions. How stupid are you? Does everyone go to one hockey game then never comes back? I’m so sorry your children couldn’t get to have the snacks they love so much. Maybe they should have eaten in the car before the game? Your kids sound as terrible as you do.
“Very nice arena but music and announcements are non-stop between plays. The noise level from the music and sound system is way too loud. The atmosphere is manufactured instead of letting the fans create there own noise and atmosphere. Announcer calls the players names like they are wrestlers or boxers.The Devils dancers are bush league. The announcer and music are way too much a part of the event. No place to stand and eat your food other than in your seat. Long lines for condiments because there aren’t enough condiment stations.”
Oh please. Oh please. Oh please. The music sucks, it’s too loud, and the announcer doesn’t say the player’s names the way you want him to? You just have everything handed to you in life don’t ya? I hope your hot dog was dry when you gave up at trying to get some ketchup for it.
On a scale of 1-10, how much do you hate the human race?