Sometimes I wish I was in high school these days to see what it was like. I’m not that old and even already things have changed a ton. My high school had only a minimal Internet connection. This was a strange thing because I took a class on website design without actually having access to the Internet. I have no clue what they were thinking because it didn’t make any sense at all. I think schools do have Internet now, right? They must. I still remember being 17 and a kid got porn on his PSP and it was a big deal. Man those were the innocent days of 2005.

One growing trend I have noticed is how it’s cool for people to be nerds. Of course we’re all smart enough to know these hipsters are phonies. A good majority of them are attractive and are doing this because the attention they get is never enough. They wear fake glasses, tattered clothes, and grow obnoxious beards for the lone sake of being ironic. People are supposed to care about the way they look and now these hipsters spend twice as much time looking “accidentally pretty.” This goes for the males and females. Any male who spends more time on his appearance and enjoys shopping is indeed a pretty man. The only things a man should ever enjoy buying are condoms and duct tape, always together in case something goes wrong.

Not necessarily hipsters, but still pretty awkward girls who are outcasts and nobody seems to like them are all over television and in movies. I know that last sentence was poorly written and my back hurts way too bad to try to figure out how to make it more readable. My apologies. But you get what I’m saying right? In real life when a girl is pretty she’s pretty. She has confidence and the world is for the most part hers. It takes me out of a movie whenever I see girls who appear both in looks and her personality to be totally viable dating candidates. Here are a few I have noticed aka the part where you can skip down to.

Linda Cardellini (Lindsay Weir) from Freaks and Geeks

linda cardellini

I get it that she acts a little strange, but she’s certainly got a cute enough smile to not be such an outcast. Couldn’t they get someone a little less attractive? It’s not like she went on to do anything after other than work as a nurse on ER. That’s the equivalent of a red shirt on Star Trek or a Storm Trooper in Star Wars or an ogre in Lord of the Rings or a British kid in Harry Potter or….

Ashley Rickards (Bethany Pruitt) from Sassy Pants


I finally watched this movie, the one with Haley Joel Osment as a gay person. It was actually pretty good and the main girl was so sad and pathetic and pretty I wanted to hug her and tell her that things will get better. There is no way a girl as cute as her would ever have the problems she did. This girl is also the star of an MTV show called Awkward. Just no. She looks like she would be really mean to me if I ever tried talking to her.

Tara Lynne Barr (Roxy)  from God Bless America

tara lynne barr middle finger

At one point in the film the girl wants to know if she’s pretty. Of course she is. I mean, don’t you have to in order to be an actress not named Cher? Then again Cher kind of made her career as a musician more than an actress so she’s a bad example. TLB as her fans would call her would never need to go on a killing spree in order to find something more to live for. If she has really bad self-esteem she could always date Mitchell Musso.

Alison Brie (Annie Edison)  from Community


I think in the first season they had no idea she would get as popular as she did. About midway through they started sexualizing her because they realized they had a big-breasted gem cupped in the palm of their hands. On the show she plays a nerdy girl who studies a lot. I don’t remember any pretty girls ever studying when I was in school. They were all too busy trying to memorize really mean lines on how to reject me. Why must you hurt me so much Alison Brie?

Anyone from Disney Channel, Nickelodeon, etc.


Case in point, all three of these girls played slightly awkward girls on their own Disney Channel shows. The one in the middle was this past year’s #2 on Maxim’s Top 100 hottest. The one on the right was #1. Poor Demi Lovato on the far left (and yes you probably didn’t know who that girl was) only finished at #26. Often discussed by me on Kidz Showz, we are made to believe that pretty girls can be dorky too. I blame Zooey Deschanel. She is probably the least klutzy person ever. If she was as big of a dork as she pretended to be she wouldn’t be famous, end of story. I don’t buy this klutzy Zooey thing. Shouldn’t her legs be covered in bruises?

I don’t know what the point of this was other than to try standing up for the true average girls out there. You know, the girls with the ugly smiles and faulty skin. Sometimes I like looking at pictures of celebrities without makeup. Although these pictures are purposefully unflattering, I still think the average everyday female is more attractive than some glammed up actress.

So what’s the solution? I need to remember that movies and TV shows are not accurate portrayals of life.

  1. rossmurray1 says:

    This post needs more Die Hard.

  2. Lily says:

    I agree with this post. I hate how every show makes the weird girls pretty. It’s like every character has to be good looking for some reason.
    I have a beef with Alison Brie. I like her character Annie, and I also like her character on Mad Men Trudy. But I’ve done research on this chick and almost every picture of her is her getting undressed or sexualizing (is that a word?) herself. Which is fine.But then I stumbled onto a quote of hers where she said in college she used to just go outside naked and run around once a week. Only someone who loves themselves so much would do that. So now I don’t like her. But I still like Community.

  3. Mickey says:

    Porn kid!!

  4. Pen says:

    I just had an in-depth discussion with my boyfriend last night about condoms and duct tape needing to be next to each other in the store so he doesn’t have to hunt around for a long time. Well, it was really that stores needed a “man section” for that guy who just wants to get in and out. It would have duct tape, condoms, beer, some sort of snacky food that men like (beef jerky?), and porn mags.

    Wait. What was this post about? Oh yeah. I hate those girls. This also pertains to half the cast of “Girls”. Sorry, even though you’re awkward or extra-bohemian, you’re still a normal looking hot chick. Stop being so down on yourself.

    • Mooselicker says:

      Are the girls on Girls attractive? The few I’ve seen have been below average. The worst is when it’s a girl who also does modeling. Models aren’t awkward. Models are just mean.

      • Pen says:

        I think the bohemian chick is. I dunno. None of them are ugly. The main chick is rather chunky, but that’s a huge part of the show.

  5. Addie says:

    I’ve never liked Zooey. Everything about her makes me twitch in annoyance, especially her “…I’m so clumsy and adorable” face. Plus, her name is stupid.

    Yes, I am being harsh and I don’t care.

    • Mooselicker says:

      I think I have a few more posts with references to her coming up soon. She’s such a bandwagon actress. She’s already 33 so her career will be over soon.

    • I totally agree! She’s such a fake. I hated her character in 500 days of Summer (I think that’s who she really is) – or, whatever that was called. I wanted to punch her in the face. LOLOL!

  6. Sylvester Stallone did a good job with Adrian in Rocky. Not that Talia Shire is all that, but at least it felt real and she was someone who you would totally overlook. She was awkward and nerdy deluxe. I loved her little stupid hat and the ice skating scene. LOL!

    • Mooselicker says:

      Oh yeah that’s a great example. She was very normal looking and someone Sylvester Stallone would probably actually date. Maybe at that point Sylvester also wasn’t popular enough to get a model girlfriend. Even when he did get a model girlfriend wasn’t it Briget Nielsen or however she spells it? In that case Sylvester is on the same level as Flava Flav.

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