I was talking to someone the other day and he said how he was invited to a sex party when he was over in Germany. It’s a shame too because I thought he was a cool guy and now I have to hate him. I mean, even if I was invited to a sex party I would probably not go. I guess it depends who invites me, where I am, how my self-esteem is, and how much I’d get paid for my appearance. Things like getting invited to a sex party though never happen to me in real life. Just the invitation alone would make me happy. The idea that some stranger looks at me and says, “You know where he’d fit right in at? A sex party. Not even an orgy. He’s too cool for an orgy. A sex party is what this guy needs to be at. The sex party, unlike the orgy, is as much about personality as it is getting down to the deed. This guy has it. I think I’ll give him an invite.”

Normally when people invite me places I think it’s because they feel required to or as if I will not show up anyway. Sometimes I’ll RSVP and not show up. They’ll ask me where I was and then I’ll cease contact and for the rest of their lives they’ll be left wondering what they did wrong. Everything! Other times I’ll not RSVP then show up. This can be a problem at formal events when they need a head count for things like chairs or pudding cups. The point I am trying to make is, fuck that guy for having such a wonderful life compared to mine. Not only does he get to go on vacations to foreign countries, he actually wants to. Traveling annoys me so much. Where does he get this lust for life from? I don’t even like going to the corner store because I’m afraid they gossip about me. And when this guy does go to these foreign lands, he doesn’t just see the sights. He sits down and strange German men come up to him and are like, “Hey, wanna go to a sex party?” He gets invited to the two most overrated things there are out there combined into one which makes it a whole lot cooler.

My life is different from that though. My life is more like the series of comics I have been creating all this week which now has its own page on my blog and you can view it by clicking on the picture below. Yeah. That’s all I really wanted to say. I’ll be updating it frequently and will bother you sparingly.

held back logo

  1. Addie says:

    I would hate to be invited to a sex party. I have trouble remembering the names of my children, much less the names of a bunch of people I’d never met. How embarrassing would that be? Plus, I’m in the middle of watching Dr. Who, so, my nights are kinda busy.

  2. Lily says:

    I will read those comics now. I have some time set aside JUST FOR YOU.

    Being invited to a sex party in Germany is basically the set up for Hostel so I’m pretty sure your friend is dead now.

    • Mooselicker says:

      I said that same exact thing to him. I asked if it happened before or after the movies came out. He said he loves the Germans too much to not trust them. Guy doesn’t know his history.

  3. Ignore the invitation I sent via mail.

    On another note, I am off to check out this new comic project.

  4. Pete Howorth says:

    I want to be the guy running the sex parties not the guy being invited to them. Though knowing me they’d have a certain Human Centipede feel about them.

    • Mooselicker says:

      “Sex Party” Pete Howorth is a good nickname indeed. I’m not good at throwing parties. I worry too much about people going through my stuff. You may be best to rent out a banquet hall.

  5. Lauri says:

    I have no idea what would go on at a sex party. Well, sex…but…well, I can’t imagine. That’s ok. Don’t help me.

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