Getaway Drivers

Posted: November 25, 2013 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Here’s a review I wrote months ago for the movie Drive starring that hunky guy with the droopy eyes.

Ryan Gosling seems to have a free pass in life. He has an oddly shaped head yet still somehow manages to be a sex symbol. In half his movies he also has ugly facial hair. Still, women go wild for him. When Drive came out it was praised by everyone as an action packed thriller. I was excited to sit down and watch it. I found myself wanting to get up to leave my own apartment.

This particular Ryan Gosling film depicts him as a flat character with no personality whatsoever. I have no problem with quiet characters when there are others around him that I care about. Not one character in this film is memorable and the best performance probably comes from Ron Perlman who always plays Ron Perlman in whatever he’s in. Sometimes Ron Perlman wears a leather jacket or is a monster, but he’s always Ron Perlman.

ron perlman(Not sure which one is supposed to be Beast…)

The plot of the film is interesting enough. A Hollywood stunt driver moonlights as a getaway driver. You would think a stuntman might have a lot of personality, stories to tell, and be one of those adrenaline junkies who never shuts up about much he enjoys a rush. Gosling’s character hardly speaks or even moves his face. Daniel Day Lewis in My Left Foot had a thousand times more personality than Gosling’s character.

Quickly I began to lose interest in this movie. Credited as a thriller, I was expecting to be thrilled. It took almost forty minutes for anything of substance to happen. Gosling falls in love with some girl who has a shitty boyfriend which I guess is relatable because girls tend to date shitty guys. Girls no longer seem to want a guy with a job, a sense of humor, or the ability to provide for them. A woman these days, for the most part, fall for whatever guy has been unemployed the longest and wears his hat the most to the side. When will females stop sleeping with men who aren’t sweetie pies? If you want to be treated like a princess, don’t date a guy who wants to be one too.

ryan-gosling-in-drive-007(This was the only face he made throughout the entire movie)

The dynamic between the characters throughout this film is boring and confusing. Maybe it’s confusing because I was so bored and found myself counting ceiling tiles instead. Action does pick up and it looks like a lot is about to happen. There is a little bit of gunfire and some fast cars moving. This does not make a good film though. Giving me characters I want to see succeed or fail is what makes me enjoy a movie.

The bad guys in this movie don’t get nearly enough screen time for us to hate them. Albert Brooks plays a great prick, but is never given the chance to prove how dastardly he can be. Instead we are told how bad he is instead of shown. Considering this isn’t a film put together by some college students, they could have easily put in an additional scene or two where we really want the bad guys to lose. I’ve met high school students who were nastier than the villains in this film. I could not careless whether they won or lost.

drive-wallpaper_105469-1600x1200(How does he keep the same expression? He should be angry!)

Drive may be one of the most overrated films I have seen in a while. One person told me it was this generation’s Taxi Driver which made me think he didn’t like Taxi Driver very much. Taxi Driver had a complex character who you find yourself rooting for despite knowing he’s the bad guy, although I see him as more of a hero since he never actually hurts anyone. The person who told me this was probably not thinking very much deeper than basing it on the title alone. He probably thought Driving Miss Daisy was comparable to Taxi Driver.

If you are a person who will watch a movie for the sake of seeing Ryan Gosling then I would recommend this film to you. But please, realize he will never go to prom with you. Stop daydreaming. Ryan Gosling wants nothing to do with a girl who uses a photo of him as her Facebook cover photo. That’s just too creepy.

ryan-gosling-in-drive(“Christ dude, smile. I’m about to get shot and you’re going to bang my wife.” – the guy about to get shot and have his wife banged by Ryan Gosling)

Comments
  1. Lauri says:

    I haven’t ever seen Ryan Gosling act. Nor have I ever seen him in a movie or on tv. But every time I see a picture of him I do wonder what the attraction is.

  2. Lily says:

    I agree with pretty much everything you said. This movie was sooooo boring and I hated all of the characters. I do love that Albert Brooks was in it though. But yeah and then Ryan did The Place Beyond the Pines after that where he played the exact same boring character. Like, we get it. You’re good a showing no emotion.

    • Mooselicker says:

      I think we already had this discussion. In fact, I know we did because I was really happy someone else agreed with me how emotionless he was in this “film”. I put it in quotes because films usually have a beginning, middle, and end. This one didn’t even feel like it started.

      Oh shit! Burn

      • Lily says:

        Mega burnnnn. Yeah I think we’ve also had the discussion about how I hate the word “film” but I still use it all the time because there aren’t too many terms to choose from besides “movie” and “picture show”.

  3. 1jaded1 says:

    Wasn’t he in the mickey mouse club or something like that? I get em all confused.

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