I have very little to say in this post which means this will go 300 more words than planned. All I want to say is that I recently discovered someone was using a picture of me as their Facebook profile picture. At first glance, this is a sweet gesture to let me know how important I am to them. Well, let me clue you in on some facts.
The above picture is the one they use as their profile picture. Granted, it’s a great picture. It’s still not even my profile picture on Facebook though and never has been yet it is hers.
Who is this woman?
The woman is someone whose dogs occasionally come to the place where I work. They’re not allowed to do much because one of them bites dogs. I met the woman once in person. She was with her husband who made a joke about how his dog is Jewish and it wasn’t a joke, more of a statement. I later thought of a funny response. I should have said “Yeah I can tell. He’s still got his foreskin” because the idea of circumcising a dog is humorous. I didn’t say that though. Instead I laughed and got a stern reaction back, and when I say stern I don’t mean that to be a reference to the popular Jewish last name Stern.
So I met this woman only once ever. Why am I still in her profile picture? Her dogs must be in the picture! Nope. As I said, they aren’t allowed near other dogs because they are troublemakers. So nobody she actually really has a relationship is in this picture.
Perhaps she just likes the picture. I stalked her profile and a couple of her Facebook friends, including a few younger ladies ::raises eyebrows:: liked the picture. Do they think I am related to her? Do they wonder who the fuck I am? I’m bothered by this, yet flattered in a strange way. A very strange way. A way where I’m blushing yet always looking over my shoulder wondering when I will end up tied to a bed like in Misery or whatever happens in the movie. I’m not sure. Kathy Bates frightens me.
There’s nothing I can do about this. For now I am in a picture representing a 50+ year old Jewish woman and it’s a bit of an identity crisis.