New Year’s Eve Plans

Posted: December 30, 2013 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

I need to come up with some plans for New Year’s Eve. Traditionally this holiday was spent watching movies, eating snacks, and staying up as late as possible. This sounds cool until I look back and realize most New Year’s Eves I have had were very disappointing. Never once did Jay-Z show up and invite me to some rooftop party. When will my life be a movie?

Jay-Z_@_Shawn_'Jay-Z'_Carter_Foundation_Carnival_(crop_2)(Damn it I wish I was this ugly and people felt bad for me and gave me money like what happened to Jay-Z)

Last year I spent New Year’s Eve at my dad’s place. My new apartment had its power shut off because I didn’t bother moving in there until really late in the month despite having ownership since the beginning of December. So at one point I was in possession of two apartments, which sounds pretty cool–the same way I would brag about my dad having two jobs and two girlfriends (not including my mom) when I was younger. Less is not more. Less is just better and not as damaging to a child’s psyche.

In years previous to that alcohol was involved or I abstained from alcohol because I didn’t feel like starting the New Year chewing on my blankets wishing I was dead from a hangover. The worst were the years my sister and I would have parties and none of my friends I told everyone I had would show up. I would usually retreat to my bedroom and watch King of the Hill. At least Bill Dauterive was more pathetic.

bill d(This could very well be my future)

I spent one New Year’s at a friend’s house and I’m not even sure why I was friends with him. I think it was because I needed something to do on New Year’s Eve so I planned it out five years in advance and earned his trust. We didn’t do much and I remember hiding from old high school classmates buying ice cream in the only open place in the town, a 24-hour drug store. I don’t think anything should be open on New Year’s Eve. That’s not fair. People should be allowed to celebrate or have the chance to kill themselves in private.

When I was really young I would engage in the earlier mentioned snacking and movie watching. This was pretty much what I did every weekend anyway. For some reason the only movie I remember watching on New Year’s Eve was Ghosts of Mars. I also remember eating mozzarella sticks while watching it because nothing makes a bad John Carpenter movie better than fried cheese. Hell, nothing is better than fried cheese.

 mozarella sticks(I’d give it all up just to be near you)

This year I have no current plans on what to do. I certainly don’t want to go to Times Square because that’s just asking to stand in the cold alone with high hopes only to be upset with the results. I also can’t stay at home because I don’t have a television. How will I know when the ball has dropped??? Do I need to buy a watch? Take everyone’s word for it?

What will most likely happen is I’ll have a movie marathon at home and eat popcorn because I have been craving popcorn ever since I saw it at the grocery store. Does ever happen to you? Do you ever see food at the grocery store and then remember it exists?

Best of luck to you all in 2014. Except for you. You can die.

  1. Lily says:

    This was a really great post. NYE is always such a bust. My most memorable NYE was spent at U of I (illinois) and my friend peed in the basement of this bar and I threw up at the exact same time. At midnight I made out with some random decent looking stranger and then slept on the floor of my friends apartment. Actually, she wasn’t really even my friend.
    Most NYEs I usually spend the same way you do–watching crap and eating crap. And at midnight I look at myself in the mirror and think of how I’ve changed since past new years. So stupid.
    Lol about your dad having two gfs and two jobs. Scarring yet impressive.

    • Mooselicker says:

      Did her peeing make you throw-up? I’m impressed at the synchronization if that was the case.

      I don’t think anyone ever wants to watch a good movie on NYE. It’s always guilty pleasures.

      • Lily says:

        No, it was kind of magical actually. She and I were looking for the bathroom and wandered into the bars basement where they kept their inventory I guess and she just started peeing and I just threw up. It worked out really well. Except for the bar owner of course.

      • Mooselicker says:

        You think the bar owner was the one that cleaned it up? Unless it’s some cute story of how he runs the whole bar by himself. There’s a bad idea there somewhere….

  2. 1jaded1 says:

    I’m gonna he watching the Winter Classic. Effing wish I could be there. Happy New Year.

  3. Those sticks look and resemble something obnoxious.

  4. NYE is overrated. The best one I spent was in a bus. This year it looks like I’ll be doing nothing, because my friend fail at planning things even harder than I do.

  5. Lauri says:

    I will probably go to bed. I’m going to work this morning at 6 am. Thankfully I am past the age where I have friends or I even want to do anything but say hello to my awesome awesome bed and pillow.

  6. A five year sting operation for a NYE party? I’m impressed.

    NYE is always rubbish, especially if you are ill… and I’m ill. So eating lots of nonsense and staying up to watch the Big Ben fireworks on TV isn’t really an option for me.

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