These are my goals for 2014. There are many like them but these goals are mine.

-Earn enough money from writing where I have to pay taxes on my earnings. Or at least combined from different sources. I would really rather not pay taxes on anything at all. I think the total is $600 when you have to pay taxes. I made a little under $200 in 2013, most of it in the latter half. I will not count any money I make from writing time I put in at work since I get an hourly wage to sit there and write fake news stories about dogs.

-Not have any new daily body pains show up. I can’t believe I’ve managed to go as long as I have with daily pain somewhere on my body. What’s the age where people start complaining about it? I know this is normal. I just want to know when I’ll be obnoxious and remind everyone constantly.

-Make one friend. I made two of them in 2013. One shouldn’t be too hard.

-Destroy that one new friend’s soul. Why get something new if you cannot crush it?

-Make a whole lot of money. I’m not going to set a total amount. I already am making more at my job after 5 months than I did at my old job I was at for 8 years. The company currently employs 6 people so if one person dies I probably get a big portion of their unused cash. The one guy eats candy every day for breakfast and lunch so he’ll probably croak soon.

-Continue to become more responsible. Believe it or not, I am very responsible. Never once have I left the stove on when I left the apartment (no one ever taught me how to turn it on), I rarely get my lip stuck in my coat zipper (I broke the zipper off on the first day), and my criminal record is on a clean slate (I love the word expunged!). Not to brag or anything, but I’m a real adult.

-Travel more. I already have plans to visit the post office again. It’s a mile walk away.

-Learn a new skill. I’ve always wondered if I could survive a cannonball shot to my stomach.

-Clean my bellybutton more often. I actually clean it every day. Somehow though I think if we played a game called “In My Bellybutton or On the Ground?” I would stump you 50% of the time.

Do you have any goals for 2014? I’m sure if you have one it’s still better than my half-assed ones.

  1. 1jaded1 says:

    Can’t compete with those. Good luck!

  2. The Waiting says:

    It’s a good idea to make it a goal to pay taxes. The alternative would disprove your assertion that you are responsible.

  3. Missed ya – you’re still goofy in 2014. Make it happen – Moose 🙂

  4. Ceaning your bellybutton is a new skill. You’re hitting the last two goals with one. I’m not insinuating you’ve never clean yours ever though. Not at all.

    My goal for this year includes participating in a spiro event. That and being less wobbly. I need to achieve that for the said event. Or I don’t. Jiggly wobbly could be fun.

    And I wanna watch that Tim Boyle sex tape. When are you making it public?

  5. joehoover says:

    All achievable goals. I turn 38 soon, aches started a couple of years ago. Just in my legs, I think I’m getting cankles

  6. Love your number 4. My goal this year is a soccer goal.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s