Thoughts & Prayers

Posted: February 9, 2014 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Here’s a conversation that has never happened.

“[insert something bad that has happened] to me.” – Person 1

“I’m so sorry to hear! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.” – Person 2

“Thank you. I appreciate it. However, it would be far more helpful for you to do something.” – Person 1

Pause.

“No thank you. I am more comfortable thinking about your problem. To further help, before bed I will get on my knees, place my hands together, and ask someone else to offer their services to you.” – Person 2

“Okay. Thank you for doing the minimal.” – Person 1

TWO DAYS LATER

“Are things any better?” – Person 2

“Yes they are. I figured it out.” – Person 1

“It’s because I thought about your problem. It’s also because I got on my knees, placed my hands together, and asked someone else to offer their services to you.” – Person 2

“No.” – Person 1

I hate when people offer me their thoughts and prayers; although they rarely do. If people really were keeping people in their thoughts they would be immobile. If ever happen to pray for me I would like to know the exact words you use–just for curiosity’s sake. Never keep me in your thoughts or prayers if death is involved. That’s weird. I will then become “that person with a dead person they knew” if you have me in your thoughts and your prayers will have something to do with a zombie. Or maybe a vampire. According to True Blood lore, if someone dies you can bury them with a vampire and they will become a vampire’s slave. And that television program knows a lot of shit about logic.

tonydanza(“Thoughts and prayers. Thoughts and prayers.” – Tony Danza lending a helping hand)

Comments
  1. Addie says:

    You wrote a post once, and it caused me to think about you after I read it, so, I did put you in a prayer–I’m anti-religion, but, I believe in a higher power–where I simply said, Keep an eye on Tim.

  2. 1jaded1 says:

    I pray to the hockey gods that the Flyers and Wings make the playoffs.

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