The weather is warmer which means pretty girls are showing off and ugly girls are lucky that I often have sweat in my eyes and treat them with some respect because due to the sweat in my eyes I cannot quite make out how unattractive they are which if I could see them I would probably have a disgusted look on my face.
I think I handle myself pretty well in the presence of a pretty girl. It’s very simple. I treat them badly. I act like they mean nothing to me. I value their opinion as much as I would that of a caterpillar. The only difference is a caterpillar has never told me about her boys problems and I felt obliged to listen like I have in the past.
When I think about it this isn’t some strategy. I don’t treat pretty girls badly because I know it’s what will make them attracted to me. I do it because I’m a realist who knows the chances of a pretty girl randomly approaching me with a proposition are very unlikely. It’s a lot of work to win a girl over and this just isn’t work I am willing to put in right now. Can you believe women expect us to learn their names now?
Sometimes my interactions with beautiful women come off as cold and malice; I think. This is just working on assumption. I don’t small talk with anyone really let alone someone I find attractive. When I see a pretty girl on the street I think of all of the mean things she is probably thinking about me without knowing anything about me other than I have been following her home for way too long.
My comfort level with the fairest of the fairer sex is usually awkward because I have nothing to say to an attractive woman other than to drool over her. I know she doesn’t want that and certainly I don’t want to be it to her. I tend to live my life on extremes. I can either chuck semen at you by the handful (my natural instinct) or act as if you are the Elephant Man, whom for the record I would not throw any semen at.
If you happen to be a pretty girl reading this and I treat you badly I would like to apologize to you. My intention was to show you respect the only way I could which just happened to be ignoring everything you say.
(Fuck off Mila Kunis. I don’t have time for you. You don’t like me anyway)
Mooselicker 
You’re nice to me so I guess I’m ugly. But strangely, I’m okay with it.
You’re in Canada so he pities you. The moment you cross back over the border he’ll be throwing broken biscuits at you.
American Biscuits (like an English Muffin) or English Biscuits (like a cookie)?
I love myself so imagine how much poor self-esteem I must really have.
You’re younger than my kids, so you can just talk to me.
Hey there 😉
This strategy could work!
Everything’s worth a try! Especially suicide.
Everything’s worth a try! Especially suicide.
Save that one til last, though.