I finally broke down and got an iPhone a few months ago. Well, my boss offered me one. I only ever use it for taking pictures at work because my boss uses it too and I know at some point I’ll forget to delete a picture of my poop if I used it like it was my own.

iphone-4s-devices

(The contraption doesn’t even have Minesweeper on it so how good can it be?)

On the iPhone I get a few random phone calls. I also get a few text messages from mysterious people. I haven’t deleted any of them because if I ever lose the phone I want people to think I am mysterious and a total dick for never responding to text messages. Here are a few in the phone:

Person 1:

March 14: Hope you are doing well Basic enough

April 30: When people are innocent they don’t pack up and run I was getting excited when I saw this and had hoped there’d be some big drama to follow. There wasn’t…

May 3: And Judi Russo is not looking for any ones $$$$) (had that already when I was married—I am wishing people I trusted never hurt my innocent kids who loved them- Very powerful stuff yet I have a feeling this text message was from someone named Judi Russo talking about herself in third person like Rickey Henderson

July 5: We really pray for that family As if someone was going to call her a liar

Person 2:

June 24: Sup bro Simple enough

June 24: It’s Babby Since I didn’t respond Babby probably feels awful, as if his friend is ignoring him because it is Babby. Poor Babby! It may have always been a typo and I got a text from a baby

Person 3:

May 17: Valeri kumusta? Ano balita? I could have actually answered this one no matter what language that is since “no” is very universal

Finally there was this long chain from a group of people:

April 14: Ok one of you guys should call Sam or Mike and tell him that we trust him just as long he do right thing 4900 full truck everything that we talked about. Even if we add for the extra stuff that was not covered by all American I think we will not go over 7500 k. What do you guys think? I think you just left Sam or Mike out of this text message and included me

April 14: Yes please call him baby stuck in a meeting now Pet names in a mass text messages–this guy will not hear the end of it

April 14: Send me his cell # I get the feeling it’s a prison cell…

April 14: Buy maybe Val should call? Because Val loves dating convicted rapists

April 14: (cell phone number deleted to protect the stupid) his cell Val you want to tell him that we will trust him? Ok good luck then Later if we there is still room we can add the other stuff during loading day even if we pay extra. Call him just smooth him out tell him we read his blog that’s why we got scared. He doesn’t know we are going with All America I just said we paid for boxes. See what he say, if he accepted then we go with him I hope this person they are trying to get in touch with is an English tutor

April 14: Val did u call? I think I’m supposed to be Val

April 14: Did u call Sam? No I have not and I am ruining Val’s reputation as a slut who does what she’s told

April 14: No bz wd meeting I ask val can u ff up wd her The inventing of shorthand just shot herself in the eyes

April 14: Call me the iPod is at home God forbid you leave home without “The Best of Abba”

April 14: Coming home I really hope this is slang for “dying”

Comments
  1. Person 3 is a poop skinner alright. :3

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s