I’m a pretty loyal person. I’ve been with the same bank since I was five and all of the congenital diseases/syndromes I was born with are still there. I’ve stayed at jobs far longer than I would have liked to because of my commitment and lack of real world skills. Road rules skills on the other hand…
On my recent trip to Asia (the continent, not the band) I decided to make a really big commitment. The overwhelming feeling of dying alone had engrossed me so greatly, I decided it was time to commit to something other than a documentary series on Netflix. I asked someone to marry me.
It may seem like a big thing to do. It’s not every day (more biweekly) someone believes it’s time to ask such a task from someone. But after more than two years in a relationship, I knew I was ready. I already felt married to her anyway even if the circumstances kept us apart by distance. Emotionally though, I’ve never felt so connected with anyone. This comes from a guy who was born with a conjoined twin too so obviously my future wife must be pretty special.
And she is.
After getting down on my knee and popping the question, she gave me a “yes” in her own words which were closer to “fuck you, of course I will.”
She claims she likes the ring too which is pretty sweet because it’s actually part of a lugnut that I found in a scrapyard.
I’m not sure when I’ll actually be a married man now, but it does feel different. The people who know me and interact on a regular basis seem to behave differently around me. There’s a larger sense of maturity I feel now mixed with only a little fear that this will all end in a court room and a sleazy lawyer sitting next to me. I’m doubtful it’ll end like that as we love each other and murder is far more likely.
So I’m engaged. To someone who understands me. Someone who knows if I could, I would grow my ass 100 times bigger then hover above earth and poop on everyone. It feels good. And I’m not yet at the point where I feel like there’s nothing left for me in life.
In case you were wondering if there were still crazy people in this world, there are. One agreed to spend her life with me.