Posts Tagged ‘handsome book maker tim boyle’

Okay so it’s that time of the week again where I share some fantabulous non-traditional blogging project I’ve been doing I promised myself I would put a lot of time and energy into. Luckily I’m a few weeks ahead and have the next month or so complete, for the most part. I guess I could always make a video of a cat doing something if I get lazy. People love that shit.

Anyway, this week I’m letting you all know about another book I wrote up that’s available for your reading leisure. It’s called Silence: My Worst Stand-Up Comedy Performances and Experiences. It’s about exactly what the title suggests. On February 2, 2006 I tried doing stand-up comedy for the first time. It didn’t go very well. I wrote about it in this book. Two weeks later I got booed off stage. Well, I was already leaving to be fair but it sounds more tragic to say the boos forced me off stage. I was 18 at the time and still in high school. I had people more than twice their age booing me and I didn’t kill myself. I wrote about it in this book! There are a few more stories. The time I was asked to never show my face in a club ever again as well as the time I had a room full of 200 high school students throw gum at me because I lied to them. I won’t tell you what I told them but it’s pretty funny and is a bucket list item.

There are more stories as well. They’re not my “sad depressing I want to kill myself because the audience is only 3 people and 1 is my dad” stories. They’re more about everything being my own fault and how I was nothing more than a silly young man with no clue what I was doing. They’re written very much in the vain as this blog; very detailed, honest, and self-deprecating. I don’t think some of my closest friends or family members know some of these stories so hey, learn a little bit about things I never told anyone because it was so embarrassingly cringe-worthy.

Right now it’s only up on Amazon because I’m attempting to see how their Amazon Exclusive Feature works. If you have a Kindle, no problem. If you don’t have a Kindle you will need to download there feature here.

The way Amazon Exclusive works is you can only make something free for 5 days every 90 days. Okay then…so if you have even remote interest and would like a free copy I’d recommend doing it now. I’ll put it up on other sites later on of course, but I wanted to give this a try. Of course you could always wait a few days and buy it for the incredibly low price of $1. Or even better, you can buy a million copies for free and give me a million dollars. It doesn’t matter. All I ask if you get a free copy is that you leave a review for me once you’re done because people actually buy things from Amazon. Or I think if you’re a Kindle Prime member you can borrow it and I’ll still get money. Yeah, if you’re one of those do that and we’ll find out. I don’t care. Just read it. I’m going to leave this free for 3 days so I can use the other 2 days later on.

What do I promise with this book? I promise you humorous tales of failure. If you hate me you’ll love this because like nothing good happens to me except for a gay person giving me a high-five. I insult myself throughout and you’ll get a better idea of what I was like when I was younger, a naive idiot who didn’t understand anything about relating to other human beings. I’m so glad I’m nothing like that anymore. That was a half-joke.

Thanks and I hope you read it, enjoy it, and you learn something about incredibly heartbreaking the lowest rungs of show business can be.

silence standup

Amazonians are gigantic women who live in the jungle and have lesbian tendencies. Plain and simple, they hate men. I got stuck walking behind a really tall, really wide, and really lesbian woman today. I hate walking and getting stuck behind someone wide and tall. I can’t get around them and I can’t look over top of them to see if they’re the one I should flip off or if there is someone more normal sized holding up the line.

But to keep things short and not get too into a topic I know nothing about, I just wanted for the sake of self-promotion to mention my book Satan: Little League Superstar is now available on Amazon. And as mentioned nearly 3 months ago when I published the thing (where HAS the time gone?) you can still get a free copy because I’m kind (desperate) like that.

Satan: Little League Superstar on Amazon

Satan: Little League Superstar on Smashwords for FREE sign-up then enter the code AG46L upon checkout to receive a free copy

All other links can be funder under WRITING SAMPLES>SATAN: LITTLE LEAGUE SUPERSTAR

What have people been saying about it so far?

“I can’t wait for the next one.”

“One of the best satires on little league sports I have ever read.”

“You don’t use enough commas.” – I went back and fixed this

“I feel bad that I haven’t read it yet.”

“I’ll get it once it’s on Amazon, I swear.”

If you fall into the last category, hop to it.

I’ve got many more projects in store to entertain you (waste your time) so stay tuned. Videos, viral marketing, more books, and so forth and so on.

To make things less awkward I’ll ask a question at the end. What have you been up to in your life lately? Me, I’ve been incredibly busy trying to escape the horror that is my everyday life through hard work, finding shortcuts, and tricking myself into thinking one day it will all work out in the end. How about you?