Posts Tagged ‘netflix’

Still running through things I wrote months ago to post it somewhere online, here’s a very bland review I wrote for a website that never ended up existing about the show The United States of Tara.

When it was announced that Juno writer and former stripper Diablo Cody would get her own television show, people were excited. I never lived in a home with Showtime, HBO, or any of those rich people channels so my reaction was pretty neutral. I had heard of her show The United States of Tara, but never really knew anything about it. Based on a recommendation from a friend who said she enjoyed it, I decided to give this show a try.

diablo cody(A stripper with a tattoo of a stripper on her arm. It’s like when Butt-Head said he was going to get a tattoo of a butt on his butt)

Starring Toni Collette of The Sixth Sense fame (I’m such a bum that is the only thing I knew about her) as Tara, The United States of Tara is about a mother and wife with dissociative identity disorder, the polite way of saying “bat shit crazy.” She assumes the roles of three other people. There’s Alice who behaves like a mother from a 1950s television show, T who is a slutty teenage girl with a foul mouth, and Buck who is a beer and gun loving Vietnam veteran.

taraposter2(Totally Photoshopped. Toni Collette’s boobs are not big at all like they look on T. Plus she’s more horse-faced)

The first season is about Tara and her family’s dealings with her disorder. She has a supportive blue collar husband named Max, an occasionally troublesome yet independent daughter named Kate, and a semi-openly gay son named Marshall. Each of her personalities, or alters as they are called in the show, brings differently problems. The family’s job is to love their mother no matter what and to help her solve these issues. What else is family for? Oh right, verbal, physical, and sexual abuse.

Another important part in Tara’s life is her sister Charmaine who later on in the series takes on a bigger role. At first she is unsupportive of Tara which seems ridiculous because sisters never disagree about anything! I would know. Both of my sisters hate me.

At times this show can be pretty funny. At other times it can be a little too obsessed with its own worth. During many of the scenes it seemed to me like it was nothing more than Toni Collette showcasing different characters she could play. The character Tara was not only the least interesting despite having this unique disease; she was also one I felt the least empathy for. She reminds me too much of a crazy person telling people she is not crazy. She is crazy. She thinks she’s a Vietnam veteran. She was maybe four when the war happened.

vietnam war(Can you find Toni Collette in this photo?)

The other characters on the show make up for the lack of love I have for Tara. Max shows us what a good husband is. His love for Tara is so unconditional he doesn’t even have sex with her when she transitions into her alters. I feel bad for him at times. He looks reminds me of a defeated man who knows he made a mistake. Patton Oswalt is his best friend though. That’s one thing he has going for him.

My favorite characters on the show however are the children. Kate is constantly having some sort of trouble with someone or somewhere. Her adventures entertained me throughout. From getting her first job and dealing with sexual harassment to making strange videos on the Internet for gifts I fell in love with Kate’s sassy lifestyle. Oh and she’s hot and I hope 18 when this was filmed. Marshall is not too far off either. He’s new to being gay (I hope that didn’t sound intolerant) and watching him fumble through the dating scene is fun to watch. They may be smarter than most kids with wittier dialogue, but there are way too many pieces of them that are genuine to reality.

brie larson(They drink coffee too. I didn’t drink coffee until 4 months ago. Hollywood is energizing our youth!)

I would classify The United States of Tara as a quirky comedy. What else would you expect from Diablo Cody? At times the show can be pretty dark, dealing with subject matter such as rape and molestation. I swear though, it’s pretty much a comedy. The characters are insecure, have awkward moments, and all of this happens while the mother they all love cannot go a day without becoming someone else. Truly this show is about a crazy loving family more than anything else.

The United States of Tara is for anyone who grew up in a dysfunctional household and wish there was a camera there to capture the magic that unfolded.

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Posted: September 16, 2011 in September 2011
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The first time I heard of Netflix was over 5 years ago. It was more underground back then. Barely anyone I knew had an account. Flash forward and other than Redbox, they’re the only game in town outside of piracy. I don’t know about you, but I never trust a pirate. They can’t even take care of their own eyes and their parrots are always smartasses.

I used to enjoy having my Netflix account. I got rid of it 2 months ago because the new Sherlock Holmes was my next movie. Of the 400 films on my list, is that the one I really want to see the most? A misinterpretation of a classic character played by a drug addict? He was on Ally McBeal. Fuck this drunk ex-convict.

Deleting my account with Netflix was a hard thing to do only because my Internet Explorer was giving me problems. Other than that it was easy. With the recent price hikes, I felt I was more valuable to the community in martyring myself against the powers that be. This is $10 less dollars of my dad’s money that they will be getting. That’s one less cigar that the fat cats at Netflix HQ can light up. You can thank me later.

The way I see things now, Netflix is an evil company. It drove away all chances at Ma & Pa stores at doing any business. It even managed to take down the big boy, Blockbuster. Don’t you remember how great it was to go to a Blockbuster on a Friday night and they were all out of the movie you wanted to rent and you had to settle for something sub par? That was fun! Netflix has just made everything so simple and easy. I don’t like it. I like a challenge before watching my movies. I want them to mean something more outside of the production. Sadly, that’s been taken away. No more risking my life to see what Will Smith is up to. I only risk it by watching his films and having an aneurysm at the inconceivable dialogue.

Netflix has the invisible monopoly on the video rental business yet they still feel the need to advertise all over the Internet. It seems like half of the pop up advertisements are advertising for the most famous company in the world. No wonder the prices went up. They’re spending all of this cash on advertising to people who already know they exist. The only people who have never heard of Netflix are the same people who have never heard of DVDs. And those people don’t even have the Internet. I swear one day I will go back to Netflix.com and be treated to a pop up ad for Netflix.com in my stupid face. I don’t know the scientific term for this type of advertising. It’s invasive and irritating. Invasatating works.

If Netflix really wants more business they don’t need to be advertising. It gets annoying when I’m trying to look at some violent pornographic images and I’m being bombarded with them telling me to rent a Katherine Heigl movie. I’m sorry, I don’t trust people who are missing vowels in their names. That goes out to you former Minnesota Twins slugger Kent Hrbek. An extra “E” too hard to write? Eventually Netflix will probably be a stream only system and I don’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing. Either way, they will not be getting my business any time soon. Not until they offer me something new and valuable. Redbox is cheaper in the long run and most of them are near grocery stores which allows me to get snacks. I love snacks while watching a movie. That was another great thing about Blockbusters. Getting chocolate diabetes. And that’s what makes Katherine Heigl movies enjoyable. Looking away from the screen to eat your snacks as she clumsily falls or does whatever it is she does in her movies.

Update:

I guess this isn’t really an update. I haven’t posted this yet as most of my blogs are written like a week in advance. I have 23 pages of them right now. I like to be prepared for when I get “Writer’s Block” or just feel like a lazy asshole to come up with new ideas. Believe it or not, I am not a machine of thoughts. I am a human boy with real feelings.

There was a Yahoo article that caught my attention. It was about how a lot of people are dropping their Netflix accounts. Netflix, apparently, didn’t think this would bother people. In a country where a $5 sandwich is an amazing deal, they think they can add a third of the price onto an already amazing deal. People like their money. They like it so much that they will kill to defend it. They like other people’s money too. They like it so much that they will kill someone else for their money. I don’t think all stolen money is going straight to paying for Netflix accounts, but I’m not ruling it out either.

So what’s my update? I guess it’s that the Illuminati once again are hacking into my computer and then having their Internet scribes beat me to the punch. Illuminati, cut me a break. I figure that posting two blogs a day tops is all that I should do, otherwise it can be overkill. By the time this story surfaces, Netflix will have merged with Chase Manhattan Bank. That’s all banks do, merge. Merges are only fun on Survivor when you think someone might turn. Other than that they’re scary and probably mean a longer line at the unemployment office.