Posts Tagged ‘papa john phillips’

Immaturity is running rampant. Like an ad for a 1950s horror film, citizens are dashing out from theaters everywhere to get away from it. Being immature is fine. I’ve been known to say a silly goose thing here and there. When immaturity becomes a problem in my life is when you say things a 13-year-old might say. What do 13 year olds complain about most? Their gross start of puberty bodies! After that though it’s their parents. How much they hate them. How unfair they are treated. Unfortunately some people take a while to outgrow this hatred. Some people need to read this post and take away from it to grow the fuck up.

It’s fine to hate your parents. Lots of parents are scummy. I don’t believe everyone is even meant to be a parent. Charlie Manson would never be a great dad. Yeah he got his little family he put together to do whatever he wanted, but that doesn’t make someone a good parent. In order to be a good parent you have to be as much friend as you are authority. You need to know when to talk about feelings and when to roll your eyes at your kid for being such a shit. It’s hard and anyone who can pull off not having kids who completely hate them deserve an award. May I suggest a mug declaring they are number one?

(Excuse me, but I don’t believe Sylvester was a father .What’s a cat who wants to eat a wise cracking bird have anything to do with fatherhood?)

I never much hated my parents. Sure, there were things they could have done better. My mom could have bought me a jet ski and my dad could have paid for me to have jet ski lessons with a topless model. I will never forgive them for letting me down. To be perfectly clear I have no problem when someone complains about another human being. I think it’s necessary. When it becomes constant and excessive is when I get annoyed. Especially when it’s people you can leave. I remember Louis CK once saying something about how if you are ever in a relationship and you’re not married with kids then you should just leave. He’s right. Things are going to get worse. It’s true with parents. If you’re out of high school, leave. It makes your life harder sure, but no longer will you have those bullies in your life who seem to be preventing you from moving on.

Most parents really do want the best for their kids. A lot struggled to show it for whatever their issue is. I always know somebody is irresponsible when they complain to me about how their parents won’t let them do something. Sometimes the irresponsibility comes from the child not being trustworthy. Other times it comes from the child not being adult enough to find a way to do whatever it is anyway. If your parents don’t let you drink it probably means you have a problem with alcohol. I don’t know. Maybe a few months ago you got alcoholic poisoning at a concert in New York City. If you nearly died from doing something I cannot blame your parents for making you limit yourself. I once almost died during a bank heist. My parents told me not to go anywhere near a bank anymore because they were afraid I might get shot at again. It was annoying, but they were right. I probably would have killed another clerk if given the chance.

(I was the one in the brown suit disguised as Gary Busey)

When I moved out it was because I had no other options. More kids need to be put in this situation. I guarantee if my childhood home was still owned under the family name I would still be there. I never would have had reason to leave. It was comforting. Secure. Like a mother’s womb. As much as you mama haters will never admit it, you feel this comfort too. That’s why you let your parents boss you around and you never do a thing about it. Didn’t everyone used to run away from home and start rock bands? I know some people ended up dead in the streets. Still, live a little and take a chance. If you die you won’t care anyway because you’ll be dead.

The way you behave around your parents can to a certain degree represent how you behave around other people in your life. I hate yellers. Anyone who yells at anybody really scares me. My dad used to yell. It was scary for the first 5 seconds then he would start to drool. This made the whole thing humorous. People who have shouting matches with their parents means they do not have something called reasoning. You can’t reason with your own parents? Learn about compromise. And if they won’t budge then work your whole life to say “fuck you” when you turn 18 and get the heck out of Dodge. Stop being a wimpy baby. I always knew I didn’t want to turn into my uncle (58 still living at home) so I saved every penny I could and made sure I could make it on my own. I know not everyone has a creepy uncle to help inspire them to grow-up and plan out their futures. What a strange purpose in life for him to have. All he was supposed to do was be weird and make me look at him and say “yeah, that’s not going to be me.” Maybe someday he’ll date someone who can legally drink.

(My uncle would date anyone in this high school picture. Maybe not the gay guy on the far left. You always know a guy is gay when he has a lot of female friends and when holding the Asian one is stuck on armpit duty)

Take away from this that you cannot blame your parents for everything in your life. Especially once you get to a certain age. When you’re unhappy change it. Nobody deserves to be around people they don’t want to be near. Turn your childish hatred into motivation to become something greater. Quit complaining about your mama and your papa. You’re not them. They don’t have as much control over you as it seems. Don’t make yourself a whiny slave. Sojourner Truth had a cruel master and you never heard her once bitch about how her owner won’t let her go to the Blink-182 concert dressed like a whore.