Vlogs

A vlog is a video blog. So basically it’s a short movie nobody cares about. The only successful ones are the ones featuring an attractive girl who looks underage. I am not this. Instead of trying hard to make an interesting video, I have made this about a boring life event that happened to me recently. It was a lazy thing to do and I have felt very lazy lately.

A Few Days

In a few days, however many it is until Friday, I find out if I am a finalist in the 97.5 The Fanatic Dream Job contest. I believe the possibility of me being a finalist is high. When I say high I mean there is literally a less than 1/100 chance. There is more of a chance at me getting a gig on the radio than there is for Lloyd Christmas to get with Mary Swanson. I of course have to be a little cocky and believe my odds are even better than the actual math. Not only do I think my videos were different from a lot of the others, I also followed the directions and made great points about Philadelphia sports. The only thing that is in my way is that I’m not a female. I know they would love to have a female on the station. I would however probably be willing to wear women’s underwear if it meant I could win this. Wouldn’t you? I’ve spent the last 3 years of my life listening to a lot of Philadelphia sports radio so I have a good idea of how things work. Why am I making this seem like a resume? Forget it. All I’m saying is that this would be a really cool thing to happen to me and I ask if you can take the time to look over my two videos and like and/or comment on them. This isn’t a contest where you particularly vote for a person, but they do want us to be media savvy in promoting so this is me being media savvy and promoting. It’s either that or take hostages and I would feel really bad if I gave someone Stockholm Syndrome.

My Solo Video

My Duo Video

Dream Jobs

This is a very important post. It’s short too so many people will probably see it.

Yesterday I warned I would need some help with a radio contest. Well, the help begins today. Keep in mind, this isn’t one of those “whoever has the most friends” or “whoever is the most devout Catholic” wins contest. This is a contest you win on merit which I always respect. So basically, if you have the time, if you have the desire, if you want to get on my good side, go to the link below and leave a comment on my video.

Dream Job Application

I will have yet another video I am entering to post on here and bug you about as soon as Carter “Superstar” Johns finally gets around to recording his part of our duo video which I guarantee will be the most unique and entertaining thing anyone submits this year ever infinity forever.

I also know you probably have no idea what I’m saying in the video because you’re not a Philadelphia sports fan or a sports fan in general. It doesn’t matter. I’m making a great point. If you have no clue what to comment, you can simply comment “Yes! Yes! Yes!” or any other wrestling reference you can think of that are relevant. If I am one of the finalists selected to attend a live event and we have the chance to play it up to the crowd, I plan on turning the thing into a madhouse. All you have to do to comment is signup really quick or even sign in with Facebook. It’s pretty simple.

Also apologies now to anyone on Facebook who also reads the blog who I will probably bug about this further. Just remember, if I can win this then I will never be mean to you ever again because I will have my dream job…or at least one of them.

(This wouldn’t be bad either)

Three Words

Bloopers, Outtakes, & Squirming Dogs

Rather than create new material I went through my computer’s recycle bin to find old deleted videos. These videos were deleted because they contain failed acting performances by me. I had hoped I had more than I realized some of my other failed acting performances took place last March. A lot changes in a year. We lose sight of what’s important. We have an endless amount of mistakes we have made. We also empty our computer’s recycle bin because we enjoy the sound of glass breaking.

Anyway, here’s a video that shows how bad of an actor I am. These aren’t even all of the takes (that’s movie lingo for attempts) it took me to finally get it right. I present to you the return of Hank Stromboli! This time failing miserably. Keep in mind these are in order that they were filmed. You can notice how I go from laughing when I screw up to violently cursing. I think I have better cursing angry videos. I’ll get to those later on.

If you missed the full Hank Stromboli video you can click here to see it: Alter Egos

Riots

Here is the second episode of Stick Prison. I’m honestly a little disappointed with the results, not that it’s completely terrible or anything. I just liked the first episode more and the voices hurt my throat too much this time around. I also realized a major error that would take me 3 hours to fix. It doesn’t affect the story so screw you guys I’m not fixing it. The third episode I have planned will be epic and awesome. Now to get the motivation to do it. My focus has been elsewhere the last two weeks, but I will get around to it at some point. Anyhow, enjoy. If you missed the first episode you can find it here: Stick Prison

Stick Figures

In an attempt to do more things other than write TV pilots that just sit as PDF files on my computer with nobody caring about them whatsoever, I decided a little over a week ago I should try to make my own show. I have an obsession with episodic storylines where we can watch a character grow along the way while others come and go. I tried acting in one idea I had which I still think is a great idea, only I’m a terrible actor and it would have taken me forever to do the editing because the free program I was using moved too slowly. If I wanted to create my own web series I would have to resort to animation. I found a free Stick Figure program online that I read was really simple. I tested it out and the next day I got to putting an actual idea together. The result, 4 straight days of hardly doing anything else other than animating stick figures to move, swear, and violently kill each other. In the end after what was a ridiculous amount of time I put into it, this was the result. The debut of Stick Prison an ultraviolent, bloody, foul comedy about Stick Figures in prison.

 

Feedback, ideas, or help in any way either creatively or simply by sharing this is anywhere you can think of is much appreciated.

Final Notes:

The YouTube URL in case you feel so inclined is: youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_5pE6bcnmI&feature=youtu.be

The second episode should be out in 2 weeks.

Yes I did everything except the music. But I did have to search through a free archive for 4 hours to find something good. I did suffer.

I’m really tired.

Alter Egos

Do you hate reading? Boy do I know I do! Here is another short video I created. This was before I downloaded my editing program so I had to whip out my acting chops which are nowhere to be found. It took me 40 minutes to get through the first 40 seconds and when I finally did I decided to just go with it. My apologies for being such a bad actor. If I can be such a man about admitting my weaknesses as an actor then what’s Mark Wahlberg’s deal? Admit it Marky Mark, you suck.

The video is about my Alter Ego, a pretentious author. When you run into enough “talented” people you will meet people like the fellow I portray in this film. Before you call me a hypocrite remember, at least I don’t have my name written in block lettering across my refrigerator. Enjoy.

*Special Note: I’m not wearing pants in this video. They were causing me to stumble so I removed them. You can now say you saw me panstless and peacefully blow out your brains.

Blog Opening Credits

How can someone enjoy reading a blog if they don’t have opening credits to go with it? They won’t know who I am or who the guest stars are. So here it is, the opening credits to my blog.

These are the names of bloggers who were around to comment a lot in 2012. Stick around for 2013 and you can be famous too.

Second Attempts

Thanks to Art of Pouring My Art Out I have downloaded a free easy to use program where I can create and edit videos. I knew it would be free and easy because the guy who told me about it, Art, is also free and easy.

Here is the first video I made.

I also want to take this opportunity to wish you all a wonderful Christmas or whatever it is you celebrate. I celebrate Christmas so that’s the one I wish well on others first because that’s the way things work. Either way, have a nice rest of the year.

P.S. My next two posts will be a bit more informative and less scatological. In fact they may be the last two posts I ever do…until I get around to doing another one. Enjoy the holiday season.

P.P.S. I had originally had this scheduled to post on Christmas Eve. I was away from a computer and thanks to Twin Daddy I learned the crappy video did not work. Even worse, I don’t feel like going back and making this sound more timely. Christmas is over and I hope yours was grand.