Posts Tagged ‘weeds’

Another thing I wrote for that website that never ended up existing. My Review of the Television Show Weeds:

weeds(Nice choice of characters to put here. Three of them aren’t even in half the series)

If all you did was look at the title, show description, and DVD covers, you would swear this was a show that could only be appreciated by potheads. I have smoked pot once in my life. I was 17, ‘twas the night before Christmas, and my mother yelled “fuck you” at me when I refused to help her set up the Christmas tree. What kind of mother does that? Everybody knows if you don’t set up your Christmas tree at least three weeks before Christmas then you damn well better be able to figure out how to do it on your own.

I only began to watch Weeds because a friend with good taste recommended it to me. Most of the people I have in my life have terrible taste. Being friends with me is the perfect example.

Weeds starts off in Season One with Nancy Botwin, played by the incredibly sexy Mary Louise Parker, already as a drug dealer. There’s no real origin story, although it’s clear why she got into the business. Her husband Judah died of a heart attack while jogging and dealing pot is the only way she can maintain the lifestyle her family had grown accustomed to.

mary louise parker nose(I am convinced she has the most perfect nose int he world. I bet her creepy uncles were always taking it when she was younger)

Nancy has two sons who are there with her throughout the series. Silas is the older son and Shane is the younger one. Silas is confident, handsome, and has the drive to do great things. Throughout the series we watch as he goes from a stud high school student with only a few insecurities into a stud man who on the inside might still be a little bit of a child. Shane is a lot different from Silas. We learn quickly that Shane might be a psychopath. He does have the same drive and adventurous spirit as his older brother which helps him survive in the chaotic world his mother has created for the family.

In addition to the immediate family, Uncle Andy Botwin enters the picture a few episodes into the show. At first I found him annoying. He seemed to get everything to go his way despite never trying very hard in life. Over time I grew to absolutely love Uncle Andy. When same sex marriage with fictional characters is legal, I plan on being Andy’s bride.

Weeds_1_lg(Left to right: Silas, Nancy, Shane, Andy, my invisible friend Manny that only I can see in pictures)

Along with an endless colorful cast of characters, the Botwins get into every adventure you could imagine a family could when drugs are involved. From dealing with the police, secret agents, the Armenian mafia, thugs, the Mexican drug cartel, and Nacy’s inability to keep her pants on around men, the family is never at a loss for trouble.

Weeds is a show that goes to places you could never imagine it would. The first three seasons all takes place in their small California suburb Agrestic where everyone becomes a doctor, a lawyer, or a business executive. Nancy’s only real trouble comes from her evil friend Celia who is a big antagonist throughout much of the series. Once Nancy gets the drug business down better, Celia is less of a threat as all she can really do is get the rest of the PTA to turn on Nancy.

Another memorable and loveable character from this show is Doug Wilson played by Saturday Night Live alum Kevin Nealon. He plays the shittiest accountant ever which doesn’t say much considering the current economic downturn we have been experiencing for the last forever many years. Doug starts off as a less than important character with some great lines and some good B-plots. Eventually he joins along for the full ride, going with the Botwins wherever they travel to. His love of marijuana is the main thing that calls him to stay around Nancy. After all, there’s nothing better than MILF Weed.

doug wilson(That’s right TBS fans! The host of the Funniest Commercials or whatever that lame show was called is on this show)

After eight seasons on air, Weeds completed its story last summer. The show goes so many places both with the character development and in the show’s main setting. It’s cleverly written to a point where the seriousness of danger melds perfectly with the comedy. This is sometimes a terribly depressing show as death, rejection, and hating your family are some of the main themes.

Nancy Botwin might possibly be the worst mother ever. Perhaps her biggest crime is we don’t get to see her naked until Season Four. It doesn’t matter if you have ever smoked pot or what your opinion on marijuana even is. This show is not about dealing drugs. This show is about a family, their friends, their enemies, and what happens to them because the mom has refused to get a normal job.

This show is must see. The style is unique and you will find yourself at times hating the main character because of how selfish she can be yet you will still love her anyway. But isn’t that how we feel about our own families? They can say “fuck you” to us all they want on Christmas Eve. We still show up because we love them.

Two of the best channels out there are HBO and Showtime. If you want to argue TLC for the freak factor, I’ll give you that. HBO was the first channel you needed a satellite dish for or something like that. I’m not exactly sure how this all works. It’s been around since the late 1960s or early 1970s in some form though. Showtime has also been around for a long time, 1976 according to briefly looking at the Wikipedia page. In the United States you still have to pay for these exclusively, meaning I have never lived in a home where these channels were accessible. Thanks to things like Netflix and me breaking into neighbor’s homes and watching their televisions when they are out of town, I’ve come to know a lot about these channels and the programming they provide. Both are great, but I have to wonder, which is better?

Point 1: The Programming

HBO has had hits like The Sopranos, Oz, Sex and the City, The Wire, Game of Thrones, and a few other things. Showtime is best known for Weeds, Dexter, Homeland, Dead Like Me, and a bunch of shows about gay people. There’s a very obvious contrast between the programming if you pay attention long enough. HBO has a much more East Coast feel to it. All of the shows I mentioned above take place somewhere in the Northeastern United States. Game of Thrones of course takes place in Montpellier, Vermont; something many fans overlook. Showtime has a more West Coast feel to it, despite not all of the shows being California based. Weeds and Californication are two I know take place in California. Homeland is in D.C. and Dexter is in Miami aka California on a penis. It would be impossible to choose which has better shows so I’m not going to do it.

vern schillinger(Although I’m a little partial to Oz)

Point 2: DVDs

Hands down Showtime is better at DVD sales. I’m basing DVD sales on price. HBO will put around two episodes on a disc sometimes. I’m talking to you Carnivale! Six discs for twelve episodes? Give me a break. The prices of HBO DVDs are also outrageous. Some will run all the way up to around $50. I was interested in buying Eastbound and Down Season One until I realized I would be paying $20 for six episodes. Kenny Powers is great, but he’s not that great. Showtime’s prices are much more reasonable. At least when I go into a Best Buy I don’t immediately skip over them because of the price.

Point 3: Netflix

You may not have noticed this, but very few if any HBO shows are available on Netflix. I’m sure it’s a contract they would have to sign to do this and I think it really limits their audience. Showtime on the other hand puts everything on Netflix. Weeds, Dexter, The United States of Tara, and more are readily available for your viewing pleasure or viewing hatred. I’m including hatred here because I don’t think you’ll enjoy everything.

dexter-season-6(Americans, we love our gore and our bothered by our morals getting questioned without it)

Point 4: Mary-Louise Parker

Mary-Louise Parker is too old to have my babies. That’s a shame because I think we would make cute ones. On HBO she only got to star in a miniseries Angels in America where she did get to go full frontal nude. However, on Weeds broadcasted on Showtime she gets to have her own TV show where we get to see her naked quite a bit in the middle few seasons. If nudity isn’t your thing, she has some cute outfits.

mary louise parker(Even in prison she’s incredibly adorable)

Point 5: Sex and Violence

Showtime is probably better at sex than HBO is. Showtime gives us a naked Mary-Louise Parker, Californication, Michael C. Hall’s upper body, and Big Brother after dark which I have heard is just everyone spreading STDs. HBO is the one you should turn to for the violence. The Sopranos, Oz, and The Wire alone are enough to satisfy your blood-thirsty needs. HBO also seems to show a lot more penis than Showtime. Just letting you know that I have realized this.

Omar-The-Wire-shotgun-1pvbyw9(Since The Wire was on HBO it’s “Omar coming” not like if it was on Showtime where it would be “Omar cumming.”

Point 6: Sports and Comedy

I’m not sure if Showtime does anything special for sports or comedy and I know for a fact HBO does it and they do it very well. From boxing matches, to uncensored shows following a hockey team around, to awesome stand-up comedy specials, HBO does it all. I’m sure Showtime would do it well too if given the chance. It’s like how I always tell girls on the street that I’d be a great boyfriend if they would just let me. It’s usually at that point they get to the final “1” in 911 and I have to run for my freedom.

louisckhboPOST(Can Louis CK communicate if he’s holding something in both hands?)

Which Network do you prefer?