I reintroduced oatmeal into my diet. I also took out milk. I haven’t noticed any difference other than an increase in my oatmeal farts.

This is probably one of the better things I have going on right now as things are getting pretty hectic in my neck of the woods! Why am I yelling?

I’ve gone from partially to super to partially sick over the last 3 weeks. I lost my voice completely one day for a few hours. I have since cut out coffee and replaced it with the healthier option, tea. Tea is basically just really hot water and perfect if you like chewing on mouth blisters.

There’s a lot of changes at work too, which has taken up most of my time. I’ve been meaning to blog for a while now, but other writing priorities have taken up my time. Oh and bee time!

The company I work for is expanding faster than the vagina of a 30 pound newborn baby sliding out from its mother’s vagina. We basically need 20 employees by the end of the year. Right now, we have like 9? Tomorrow we’ll probably have 8. The day after, we’ll be at 11. There’s been so much change over either because the new employees suck, don’t like the job, or just stop showing up.

Unequivocally, the company wouldn’t be where it is without me. I say that with complete honesty and humility too. My responsibilities include: all of the scheduling, all of the billing, all of the other administrative duties, telling my coworkers not to use the n-word so much, telling my coworkers if they are going to use the n-word to do it more quietly, and a lot more you’re too stupid to understand. Okay maybe you’re not too stupid. It’s Thursday and I’ve been around stupid people all week.

Mainly, everything I do is my sole responsibility. If I call in sick, there’s nobody who can take over for me. I haven’t called in sick since I started working there in July of 2013. This is with a 1.5 hour commute one-way that includes about 4 miles of walking and an hour on the train. Basically, I doubt anyone else would put up with this.

But of course, it’s all my choice and as much as I fantasize about telling everyone to go fuck themselves, some days aren’t so bad. It’s just lately there aren’t many of those.

Besides being the most responsible one at work, that’s not a joke…, I have to play the bad guy while making sure everybody is happy. It’s like when a professional wrestler is clearly a heel and he’s fighting other heels. I’m finding this doesn’t work. Either playing the good guy or the bad guy does and I’m trying to balance both.

Today I had to basically fire someone who just had a kid. Well, I didn’t do the firing. I was just there when it happened because I’m second in charge and I’m the reliable witness. Nobody wanted to fire him because of the circumstances, but he was just such a shitty worker. The turnover at work is getting ridiculously silly for a job that pays $10 per hour. Over 20 people have been interviewed and only 1 has worked out in the last month. The phrase “a fucking waste of time” was invented for mathematical situations like this.

It’s…well it’s not strange…it’s something though that I have thinking about. With all of my responsibilities, duties, jobs, tasks, and position as the second in charge my lifestyle is still distant from someone with the power I possess. I live in an apartment that has a hallway most dicks can stretch across (mine included, yours probably not) with a lifestyle that is a fraction of the people I need to work to please. Perhaps it’s my efforts that makes me feel lower than them? A passion to do a good job without an equal result may be why I find myself muttering “fuck you” a million times a day.

It’ll be really funny when I have a breakdown. Like, of epic proportions. Sometimes when I am really frustrated I’ll think about it in my head and how it will go. I’m responsible for satisfying well over 100 people who probably would not go out of their way to do the same for me.

The problem is I’m not sure what I want. For now, I’m just going to eat lots of oatmeal and feel bloated and fart tons because when times are dire it’s all you can do.

oatmeal

Comments
  1. Becky says:

    The way I see it, you have 2 hours of train-time every day to unleash your oatmeal farts next to unsuspecting commuters.

  2. ” #iwanttodie ”

    Yep. That’s what I saw in my FB feed today. The person who posted that is going through a worse hell than you are. Stop complaining you whiny piece of shit and eat DF!

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