Sometimes pictures are taken and there are objects in the background. Sometimes these objects are people. These people have tremendous stories that we never know the truth about. Objects have stories too. This is their story.
So I was looking for something to pleasure myself to which meant I was looking at my own pictures on Facebook. One of the pictures was particular sexy. All of The Philippines agree this is a sexy picture. But what is going on behind this sexy picture? Once you get past the awesome jacket, the perfectly naturally sculpted hair held up with sweat because hair gel is expensive, a soul patch that can only be earned by truly having some soul, and a face so adorable you want to squeeze it until the eyes pop out, what else is there?
Let’s talk about what’s going on behind the eye candy. There’s one of those old-timey heaters on the floor. I’m not sure what the proper name for these are. I really don’t like them because they can get really loud at times. I should probably tell my Super about it, but he has a really gross skin disease and I hate having to look at him. He also wore a bandanna with an American flag design once in front of me. Calm down there Easy Rider, you lost the revolution. America is no longer a free nation.
Starting on the windowsill, you will notice a “pyramid” shaped object. This is one of those air fresheners that sits open and slowly emits a nice scent. I had one on my toilet too. I’m not sure how they work exactly, but if it means the smellier the room is the quicker they evaporate then I need to see a doctor.
Moving along to the right you will see a can of compressed air. I use this to spray in the eyes of strangers who ask me for directions. Beside it is a Philadelphia Phillies finger thing with a little duct attachment where it can hang from glass. Do you know what I’m talking about? I really don’t feel like looking its proper name up. The only problem is it doesn’t work very well so it just sits on my windowsill. I think they’re supposed to go on cars. I no longer own a car so it’s going to collect dust. Not for long though. I can always clean it off with the compressed air.
On the refrigerator you will find some more important background objects. The far left end you can see behind a small packet of travel tissues a mini-totem pole. My dad gave me this mini-totem pole. I am not sure why. I think it was his way of saying my father is really a man named John Redcorn. Next in line is a square black object. This is my digital camera. I keep it on my refrigerator because I like to take pictures of pigeons that land near my windows. I also know it will never get stepped on.
Finally we reach my Jason Voorhees action figure in a battle with my Jesus Christ action figure. Two men who were betrayed by camp counselors at Crystal Lake must fight to find out which one gets to claim Christmas as a holiday to honor him. Who do you think would win?
And that’s what’s going on in the background of my life.