So my last post was about how painful a conversation with an old person can be. What to me exactly is an old person? It’s anyone twice my age or older who also can be easily pushed over. Are you 48+ and have poor balance? You’re old! I want to lay off the octogenarians today. Instead my focus will go onto young people and recent events that have arrived into my life to make me hate them even more. What exactly is a young person you ask? Anyone within 10 years of me who deserves to die based on their personality. No wonder the Democrats always win. Our country is full of young people.
(Young people, always looking down at others like they’re the cat’s meow. Look at me, I have one black friend. I’m so cultured. I cannot until the government starts mustard gassing the Occupy Wall Street idiots)
I’ve always been a person who has gotten along better with older people. Actually no. Maybe not. I have had friends much older which always made me feel cool. Until they got a new friend who was younger. Then I felt like I had been replaced and I could no longer get away with being bad by saying W’s instead of R’s. “I’m sowwy” doesn’t work as an apology when you have a beard. Plus I get letters confused sometimes. I’ll say R’s instead of L’s to try to be cute. Friends will think I’m insulting Chinese Americans and get pissy with me. They’re young and full of white guilt. Insulting people from a nation who oppress their people is very insensitive.
One thing young people don’t seem to do is say “thank you.” They do say sorry. If instead of saying sorry girls had sex with me I would never have to venture into the city for a whore ever again. Why is it that a person might apologize but not say thanks? I think it’s a guilt thing. Young people hate being in trouble. I’m not quite sure what being in trouble really even means. Other than with the law. Why would someone over 18 be upset if someone else over 18 was mad at them? I get it if you’re a kid and your parents are mad or vice versa. But if your boss is mad at you? If the diners at Denny’s don’t seem to like you? Why care? I like being thanked when I go out of my way for people. I helped a girl out with something recently. I won’t say what or who it was because it wasn’t exciting and I’m not even sure who she was. Yes, I only helped her because her breasts shook as she walked. That’s not to say I wouldn’t have helped her otherwise. I would have been less eager is all I’m saying. Bitch didn’t even thank me! From now on when I see her I am farting in her direction.
(My good friend Scarecrow informing me which direction I should fart in)
Young people also never follow directions or listen to others. I hate this. I mean yeah, if it’s an old person talking, ignore them. But when a fellow young person like myself gives you a warning, open your ears. Again, recently I warned a young person about a problem. Sorry for being vague. It’s pretty boring to tell you about how I had helped the big bosomed girl find some keys and warned this idiot how a computer may not work. He used the computer anyway. After a very stern warning from me. Then he acted as if he had no idea. Didn’t we have a conversation? Take your Colorado Rockies had and shove it up your ass. You’re not from Denver. You’re Spanish. They don’t have Spanish people there. Spanish people can’t breath in thin air. Your name doesn’t even start with a C. Don’t pass this off like a dumb rapper would.
(My basis on the populous of Colorado)
Drama is a word homosexuals use when telling you about their college major or young people use to describe what they hate in their lives. Anyone who says they hate drama is dramatic. Like people who hate ghosts. You only hate ghosts because ghosts follow you around. You probably are a ghost too. People who hate drama bring it upon themselves. My upstairs neighbor who is a year younger than myself is the most dramatic woman ever. What did I hear her complaining about today? Facebook drama! She has two children. She placed the body part of one, or very likely many, men inside of a certain place on her body and out came two large objects with similar DNA to herself. It’s silly to get all bent up over someone on Facebook telling you that you “have to get your life together” as she said throwing in a few motherfuckers like it was punctuation. “Who is she to tell me I don’t have my life together? Fuck that bitch!” she went on to say. If you get this enraged by what someone says on Facebook then you clearly do not have your life together.
The worst thing young people do is exist. Breathing in air I could be breathing in makes me hate them. I hate young guys who act as if they’re hot shots. You’re not. You have good posture. That’s all you have that I don’t. If I ever learn how to stand up straight then what will you have to gloat about? I hate young girls who act as if they’re princesses and I’m some smelly serf. I get it that I may smell and usually am plowing fields like a serf might do, but act as if I am present in mind and body. There is nothing more unattractive about a girl than one who never smiles. You’re a young white American woman. You haven’t had a problem doing anything in 100 years. You don’t even have to be good at singing to be a famous singer. Smile, look pretty, and treat everyone you meet like they’re worth something. Otherwise break a high heel and tear an Achilles in the process.
(Nancy Grace. Patient Zero containing vagina dentata)
This turned into more of a rant than anything else. I had not planned for it to be that way. I’m sure young people have something good to offer. We have already given you Lady Gaga songs, Zac Efron movies, and other amazing art that puts the Italian Renaissance to shame. I ask you, what is it you hate about young people? Is there anything to like besides smooth skin?