Long Overdue Awards

Since I have not gotten onto the Internet via the computer I save all my blogs to in order to email the file to myself so I can access them anywhere (see, it takes a lot of effort to get these suckers posted) I have decided to cash in my many awards I have won, sort of. I used to think blogging awards were real. The first time I got one I gloated to people I knew in real life. I felt like a champion. Turns out these are at times passed on because you happen to be the easiest to link back. My soul was crushed. I went into hiding for 8 years and lived among a tribe of pygmies. I got hungry one night and ate the entire tribe. Now I’m back to society to collect my awards.

(With my pygmy pals Oscar and Hasselhoff)

If memory serves me correctly, I owe accepting awards to Pouring My Art Out, Your Daily Dose, two from The Camel Life, and about 73 from A Gripping Life. I might be missing someone but these are the only ones I remember as they do not use me as someone to nominate then toss me into the trash like the rest of you do. They all nominated me for different awards. Instead of trying to find out which ones they were and such I have decided to create my own award, The Long Overdue Award.

The way this award works is you don’t follow any of the rules from the awards. All you do is say something nice about however many people you feel like saying nice things about. You don’t even need to link back to the profiles because we all know how annoying that can be. Look at the damn blogroll if you’re so inclined to see the lame people I’m referring to. The best thing about this award is you can make the nominees completely anonymous. If you think I am referring to you anywhere below then feel free to pass on the award! If you don’t think I’m referring to you then we probably just don’t know each other very well, yet. Or you might be really stupid and don’t deserve the award anyway.

Nominee #1: You are a very modest, honest, and passionate person. You’ve got strong morals and a great sense of humor. You don’t always see eye-to-eye with a lot of things people say yet somehow it never becomes a burden. I respect this and try to do it myself more. You’re someone I and I’m sure a thousand other people could always count on if we ever needed your help. You live a life quite gripping, but still make time for others. Anyone would be lucky to call you their mother.

Nominee #2: I’m not sure where you came from or how we met, but I am glad we did. I don’t know much about you as you keep things simple and quiet. Despite this I still see the goodness in you. You’re a caring and helpful person. You would go the distance to help others in any way you could even if you knew they would never do the same back. I wish you didn’t hide so much who you are because if we got to know more about you I’m sure we would adair you even more.

Nominee #3: Some days I wish I had the brash attitude you have. You take no prisoners and don’t care what others think, at least to an extent. I’m sure sometimes you do care and with some people it is important. As all bad boys do, you have a soft side and in many ways this is how we are alike. We come from completely different backgrounds, have different tastes, but your direction in where we want life to take us is not all that different. We’re doing our best to evolve through the insanity. Continued support for each other and I’m sure we can make it.

Nominee #4: I was going to say something nice to this person, but I’m pretty sure she won’t read it anyway since she claims she’ll be away until December. Oh well. Hopefully the only disease you have right now is happiness and you will come back and we can continue chatting.

Nominee #5: Above all else you need to remember what a great mom you are even when life stresses you out. You’re clever, kind, and sometimes I worry about growing up because I can’t imagine having a busy life like you do. Somehow you still manage to put everything into perspective and at least seem sane on the surface. The fact you have maintained friendships with so many people over the years is a true testament to the great person you really are. I know you probably don’t sleep much but once they’re grown you will finally get your chance.

Nominee #6: I hate you and I hope you die. No, really, we can joke like that and I like it. What’s scary about you is you could probably blackmail me. Not that I’ve done anything horrible, but you probably could. You’re a funny gal who I know I can always share things with. You’ve listened to me whine when I was lonely, when I was sad, and even that one time when I was in a good mood. I appreciate all the advice, honesty, and conversations we have had even outside the blogosphere. You’re my sista from another mista. I hope Canada has been treating you well.

Nominee #7: I haven’t known you very long but I already know how awesome you are. I don’t know much about the person you are deep down inside. I know there’s some evil, but there is also a lot of kindness and acceptance.  You’re crazy funny and creative. I’m only jealous I don’t think up half the things you do because they’re so great. Madame, we bowlers need to stick together. (I don’t bowl and I’m not sure if you do either. It was hard to subtle with this one)

Nominee #8: You’re my longest tended follower who comes around still, although not as often I am always glad to hear from you. You’re a hard-worker and I have a feeling through your hard work you have inspired others, including myself, to put forth a greater effort. You’re a clever guy and it would be great to actually get to know the man behind your genius sometime. Your last name always makes me think of fish car with gills. This isn’t your fault, don’t feel to blame.

Nominee #9: Finally you are beginning to open up about who you are a little bit. Don’t be afraid. I know it seems like you can burn a bridge and ruin the life you have ahead of you so quickly, truth is it’s hard because most people aren’t paying so close attention. I’m still shocked by your age and how talented you are. You’re well-versed in knowledge and even when you’re talking about something I have no interest in you can get me glued. Making your blog may not have been intended, but having people wanting to get to know you must have been.

Nominee #10: Well, well, well. My sworn enemy. I’ll avoid saying anything negative here as this is time for celebration! The only bad thing I’ll say about you is you’re too timid at times. You should have no reason to. You’re a great artist, a talented writer, and people are always clambering to be around you. You’ve got a gift to  make people like you. Use it. You’re a great father and you actually remind me of my own dad in a lot of ways. Never lose that. Continue pouring your art out into the world. We need it as much as you do.

Nominee #11: I don’t know you very well, but I’ll say something nice because you’re pretty entertaining to talk to. Hopefully you start blogging more than once every three months so we can actually develop some sort of relationship. Anyway, you’re clearly a genius who thinks over top of my head. You’re almost a tomboy but not really. I have no doubt you put your heart into everything it is that you do. You’ll go far in life with all the wonderful things you have about you. Ren in doubt, just remember you’re a lot better than others out there.

Nominee #12: I don’t know you personally very much. Either of you. This is a duel nomination and I’m not sure either of you will ever see this because the one is probably off wearing skinny jeans in Toronto while the other is living something called the camel life whatever that means despite me reading the description. All this aside, you two future lesbian lovers are always a gas to read. You’re two chicks any guy would be lucky to have. It’s a shame you’re in love with each other and yourselves which is the same thing when I think about it.

Nominee #13: I could never find a single negative thing to say about you other than I thought you were a mean person at first. Clearly you’re not. You’re one of the kindest, sweetest, and supportive people I have met. You’re adventurous and daring. You tried describing to me more about what it is you do and it was so complicated I gave up listening. Really though, there’s a lot more to you than you ever let people know and I don’t think you should be afraid to show other sides of you sometimes. You have a way to cheer anybody up and I don’t doubt your closest friends keep you around because of it. A daily dose of you is never enough.

If you were left off don’t feel bad! All this means is we aren’t as close, you’re a dick, or I just don’t like you very much. If you’re really desperate for attention or a compliment let me know and I’ll find some kindness to spread your way. I hope none of what I said was too creepy as it came from a genuine place in my heart.