The following was originally sent to CollegeHumor, the funniest website in the world. They never swing and miss. This was never actually rejected by them. Instead they removed it from my submissions then never told me where it stood with them. So instead of using an original thought they collected creepy pictures of Easter Bunnies scaring children like everyone else does. I suppose college kids would enjoy that more than my simple list. When I finally do write-up my 25th Hour speech college kids are going to be near the top.
The Best Easter Egg Hiding Spots by Tim Boyle (left to rot in a mailbox by CollegeHumor)
Easter can be a tough holiday on some parents. Other than trying to convince their children about how the whole Jesus thing could even be possible, they have to find clever hiding places for Easter eggs to make the hunt all the more interesting. Here are some of the best places to hide Easter eggs. Surely they will provide a challenge for even the smartest (most Asian) of children.
1) In a cupboard too high for your child to look
2) Inside the Ark of the Covenant
3) Alongside Jimmy Hoffa’s body
4) Wherever Barack Obama’s promises went
5) The anus of a chicken
6) Anywhere on the lost continent of Atlantis
7) In the vegetable drawer (kids hate vegetables)
9) On the Miami Marlins baseball squadron’s starting lineup
10) In a known child molester’s back pocket
11) In the DVD case for Battlefield Earth
12) Don’t hide any eggs at all and teach the child about never trusting anyone
13) With M. Night Shyamalan’s decision making skills
14) Anywhere on Oprah’s Channel that she rarely appears on which I hear is annoying, not that I watch it or anything
15) In a shark’s stomach
16) Outside, and when the child steps outside tell them to play rather than spend all their time on a computer and in front of a television so they don’t end up like me
17) Zooey Deschanel’s bangs
18) In a dream within a dream within a dream (for Inception fans)
19) Among the massive pile of Live Strong bracelets at the city dump
20) Inside the garbage disposal
Where would you hide your Easter eggs this year?