I had a very tough time sleeping last night. I won’t bitch because it was actually more good than bad. Other than waking up at 6AM two days in a row and messing up my entire sleep schedule, I couldn’t sleep because I’m excited for new competitions in my life.
I’m very competitive. I’m the type of person that when I hear there is a new one I can enter, I do and quickly do some maths to determine my odds.
I’m in a new competition on a monthly basis over at a new blogging format I joined about 3 weeks ago at Sportsblog.com. If you happen to also enjoy writing about sports, I encourage you to sign up and make money writing about sports. However, I’m pretty sure anybody I met through this blog would guess a basketball was shaped like a trapezoid.
The important notice I wanted to make here now is that although I’m not writing here or many of the other places I used to, I am overwhelmed with the written word now to the point where it’s taking up way too much time and I fucking love it. I’m making money too. Someone even randomly contacted me about becoming the editor for his site he’s reinventing. I’ve had lots of good news lately in my writing pursuits after a miserable first week in March in just about every aspect of my life other than plenty of bees.
The current competition I am in is based on unique hits to my blog, Innings Eaters. It’s all about baseball, a topic I was always very interested, but not until about a year ago realized I could make money writing at. I know it sounds like I’m a sellout writing with the motivation of money, but I gots kids to feed! And by that, I mean I eat so much it’s like I’m pregnant and already have several other children who depend on me for food.
So, if you could be so kind as to visit the blog and click around a bit, I’d greatly appreciate it. Hell, wait until Monday when the other competition ends. If you like baseball, read it frequently and share it. You won’t do it. You stink.
When a bee is born it is a baby. Some babybees, however, even as adults maintain the babybee title.
I am a babybee and I actually have a babybee of my own. My babybee is great and here are 22 reasons why because it is 11 twice.
1) My babybee is great because she has lots of talents. I’m amazed sometimes by how much she can do. First she learned how to sing, then she learned how to draw, then it was dance, and finally it was figuring out how to write. I’m not sure which of these is the best because my babybee can do them all. This counts as one, however, I will include more on each.
2) My favorite song of my babybee is the Babybee Song. It’s best used for birthdays and reminding people about the size of their genital. My babybee actually won a competition singing Carol of the Bells; you know, the song the Trans Siberian Orchestra made popular.
3) Drawing may actually be my favorite thing the babybee can do. I suck at drawing so I appreciate it when I see very good art, particularly when it’s of people or dogs I care about.
(How many people can say strangers have their artwork hanging on their walls?)
4) The dancing isn’t something I have seen my babybee do very much. Since I am already an expert dancer, I’m not sure how impressed I would be with anything my babybee can do. At the same time, I know by now there are no limits to what she can.
5) Finally there’s writing, which I know for a fact is something my babybee is very passionate about. This might be the one thing my babybee has most in common with me, especially since my babybee knows very little about sports. I should hate her for that though, right?
6) Combined with all of these skills, the babybee’s talents are limitless. Her only flaw might be her jealousy of smelly fat men pretending to be Indian women, but that’s okay. Nobody is perfect although she’s pretty close and would say I am too.
(Actor Dennis Farina makes babybee jealous she is so silly)
7) Aside from her many talents, babybee is the perfect partner for making fun of everyone. Sometimes it gets really cruel to the point where if anyone else found out the way we speak about them, we’d only have each other. But that’s okay because then we’d be two bees in a pod and there’s no better thought in the entire world than this.
8) At this point I have been writing this in non-list form and just putting a number in front of each paragraph. For number 8, I would like to mention how forgiving and accepting my babybee is and let you know the rest of this list will be a little more traditional.
9) Babybee is not judgmental even when I eat two Medi-wraps, protein bars, and a giant Snapple (what are those?).
(Now stop asking)
10) Babybee is very supportive and reads about baseball and lets me cuddle with my baseball with my hip without getting too angry.
11) Babybee knows not to make sound effects whenever I drink water because I will choke from laughing.
12) Babybee stays up late and sacrifices precious sleep–usually for me! Even I wouldn’t do this because I am nowhere near as great as Babybee.
13) Babybee makes me really long books of cartoons and lets me keep them even though it would mean owning another blank notebook without lines!!!
(Babybee porn)
14) Babybee doesn’t need expensive jewelry, clothes, or shoes. She doesn’t even wear makeup yet she’s as adorable as a micropenis. Shit, I’d call her as beautiful as a butt!
15) Babybee always has good TV show and movie recommendations.
(If only Lucy Liu was there)
16) Babybee is second most logical person I know after me. She’s also the second biggest piggy after me which makes things perfect.
17) Babybee can always make me laugh even though she is a woman.
18) Babybee has the best declarations ever.
19) Babybee can deadlift 80 pounds on the first try. She is such a Pac-Woman.
(Maybe one day she can be this beautiful)
20) Babybee is good complimenter/liar. I haven’t decided yet.
21) Babybee understands everything I tell her with the exception of one joke about boobs.
22) Babybee would be a good mama even if she makes mama face at our babybee someday.
I could go on further about how great babybee is. Did I even mention DF? Or candies? Or the Spiro treatments? I didn’t. There’s those.
There’s too much to mention about babybee and what a great human-being she is for one post. She has saved lives for fuck sake! Speaking of fuck, if babybee was here right now she’d probably say:
Mooselicker 